Introduction
I have been fortunate to have traveled to the country of
Thailand three times over the past several years. The first time was in 2006,
the year before I retired. I had a business trip to Singapore and for one of
the very few times in my career I took a vacation in the middle of that trip. I
flew from Singapore to Bangkok and spent several days with my AFS exchange
student daughter, Jiraporn (Noon) Tabtimdaeng and her family. In 2009 I was
able to go there again, this time as the leader of a group of AFS staff and
volunteers who were writing a handbook for US host families hosting students
from Thailand (our Thai counterparts were writing the corresponding handbook
for Thai families hosting US students). Finally, in 2012, as a member of the
AFS-USA Board of Directors, I attended the AFS World Congress in Bangkok.
However, I never spent much time there in “tourist” mode. Rather,
I intermingled with the people of Thailand as much as possible and not with a group
of non-Thais doing sightseeing. The first time I stayed with Noon and her family
in a fairly poor area in Pathum Thani (Bang Kha
Yaeng, Mueang Pathum Thani District, Pathum Thani, Thailand)
where they had a house right on the Chao Phraya River. That house was due to be
bulldozed within the next year for a new bridge across the river to carry
traffic of Route 345. The second time I stayed in hotels in Bangkok when we had
the actual meetings, but I had several days beforehand where I also stayed with
Noon and her family in their new house near Wat Bang Luang a few kilometers further
up the river. The final time I was initially in the hotel that was being used
for the World Congress, but afterwards I moved down into central Bangkok to the
Asia Hotel near the Ratchathewi elevated station for several days.
I took very few pictures on any of these trips, preferring
to look at the world around me instead of staring through the lens of a camera.
So, as a result, I have a lot of first-hand memories instead. But in this
reflection I’d like to recount a number of them. Rather than attempt to
remember what order each event happened in, I have put these into a few general
categories.
Visiting Schools
Noon’s Elementary School – When I was there the first
time, one morning Noon and I took a stroll through the little area where she
lived. Heading up the river on a path, we first passed the local Buddhist temple
(Wat Chin Wararam Worawihan). Thailand is dotted with these little temples
everywhere. Just beyond the temple was the elementary school that Noon had
attended. I did not get to see her high school, as she had chosen to attend one
that was not in her neighborhood, but one that offered the appropriate
challenge for her and would enable her to get into university.
Noon’s Aunt’s School – Thai families often live in close
proximity to other extended family members. I met a number of Noon’s aunts and
uncles during my visits. Noon’s aunt lived in a house in the same compound as
her parents and she was an English teacher at a school not too far away. One
morning on my second visit she took me with her to her school which was located
behind an industrial complex and next to the Wat Khok temple. We were there for
the morning assembly which was outside the main classroom building. As I stood
on the porch with Noon’s aunt and the rest of the staff, the principal
introduced me and asked me to come to the front. She then asked for a volunteer
from among the students to come and “interview” me. Since I may have been the
only foreigner to ever visit this small school, everyone was very reluctant.
Eventually, at the urging of his friends, the largest boy at the school was
pushed to the front. He was also the bass drum player (he and two other drum
players played a cadence as the students all took their place in lines). At the
principal’s urging, he asked me a few questions, but when I turned the tables
and asked him one, he got quite embarrassed. I spent the rest of the day at the
school, watching through the open windows of a few of the classrooms, sitting
in the library/computer room (where I could check my email), and having lunch
with the teachers.
Chulalongkorn University – Noon had been selected to
be an AFS student partly on her academic record. This also helped her get
selected to attend Chulalongkorn University, the top academic institution in
Thailand (the equivalent of Harvard and Stanford in the US). On my first trip
there, I went to school with her. This involved fairly complicated
transportation logistics, but since I did not speak Thai, nor have a good
understanding of the Thai monetary system, I just followed her.
We walked to the end of the road of the area where she
lived, caught a local bus which took us into the local main street (Bang
Khayaeng Municipal District), then walked a short distance down the street to
catch the inter-city bus which took us into Bangkok where all got out at
Victory Monument. Down the block and up into the BTS station (elevated train).
Three stops later, get out at Siam station, then local Chula bus to the
university (could have walked this last part, but it’s so hot and steamy that
one would quickly be sweaty).
I walked around and waited around while Noon went to her
classes and we arranged to meet again later. At the end of the day, we went
back to her home, but the transportation was not quite the same due to the time
of day. After taking the BTS back to Victory Monument, we walked around the
monument to where there was a lot full of little mini-buses (vans). These are “share
the ride” vans. Once the van was full it went back up through Nonthaburi, but
with a few stops along the way. We got out at the same place that the
inter-city bus had picked us up in the morning, but by that time of day the
local buses were not running, so we took a taxi back to her house.
I had another opportunity to visit Chulalongkorn again on my
second trip. Noon still had one more year to go, but another former AFS student
who had been in the US the same year as Noon (and whom I had gotten to know at
that time) was graduating. We met Molly right after the ceremony, still in her
graduation gown. Getting a degree from Chulalongkorn is a big deal, as HRH
Princess Maha Chakri Sirindhorn is responsible for handing out the diplomas.
I was not able to attend Noon’s graduation the following
year, but by then my brother and sister-in-law were in Thailand and they
attended on my behalf.
AFS Interviews – During my 2009 trip I had the
opportunity to be a part of the “interview day” that the AFS-Thailand office
runs that selects students for going abroad. This was held at a large high
school in Bangkok.
As background, there are about 14,000 students who apply for
a program through AFS-Thailand each year. This is slimmed down to about 7000
based on the applications. These 7000 students then participate in an interview
in order to select the roughly 700 who will get to go abroad. These interviews
are scheduled in each province and run by volunteers there. The interview
session in Bangkok is run by the AFS staff. In the morning, half of the
students are assigned an interview room and they wait in the hall outside as
each is interviewed in turn. Each interview team consists of two teachers and
one returnee. The other half of the students are in a gymnasium going through
exercises and team-building activities. After lunch the two halves switch.
When I arrived, I was escorted to the room upstairs where
the interview teams received their packets and instructions. Since the
instructions were given in Thai, I could not understand what was being said. I
was then escorted to the gym where I sat with a group of Thai volunteers as a
man stood in front of the students, who were seated on the floor, all dressed
in their school uniform. Suddenly the person next to me said, “He is calling
you to come up.” Evidently, knowing that someone from AFS-USA was there, and
the US is the most desirable destination that these students would like to
attend, he was asking me to address the students. So I went and without any
preparation spoke to the students for a few minutes – talk about being on the
spot!
I was then escorted to one of the interview rooms where I
could observe the process. Each student entered in turn, presented the panel of
interviewers their portfolio and was interviewed. I noticed that one of the
questions was always, “What aspect of Thai culture will you share with your
host family and school?” If they answered, “Thai dancing,” which is a very
common answer, they would be asked to give a short demonstration of it. After
observing two interviews, the leader of the interview team asked me to pull my
chair forward and to join the team in doing the next interview. Again, I was
totally unprepared for this, but did so – but adding to the already tense
situation that the unsuspecting student found herself in. To her credit, she
did quite well.
Samut Sakhon – The AFS-USA team, as part of our
exposure to Thai culture, were taken one day to visit a school in Samut Sakhon.
This was a school that has a long history of involvement with AFS. The town is
southwest of Bangkok and right where the Tha Chin river flows into the gulf. We
were greeted by the principal and then introduced to a girl who had recently
returned from the US and who proudly wore a lanyard that identified her as an
AFS returnee. It’s interesting to see how valued being an exchange student is
in Thailand, as opposed to the US where students receive very little
recognition.
Trips beyond
Bangkok
During my various trips to Thailand I did not have the
opportunity to travel to distant parts of the country such as Chang Mai, the resort
areas of Phuket, or the Muslim areas in the south. However, I did have five
day-trips – going north, west, south-west, south-east, and north-east from the
Bangkok area. I’m going to describe them in that order.
North – Ayutthaya and Lop Buri – The first trip that
I was taken on by Noon’s family was to the north. We first went to Ayutthaya,
the historical capital of Thailand from 1351 until its destruction by the
Burmese army in 1767. There are a large number of buildings (or rather the
foundations of them), as well as many temples (Wats), the most prominent being
Wat Phra Si Sanphet. Being able to visit a historic place which predates the “discovery”
of America by Christopher Columbus in 1492 by over a century definitely gives
one a different perspective.
Continuing north (about 150 km from Bangkok), we went to the
city of Lopburi. This city is well known for its population of hundreds of
monkeys (actually macaques) that live in the middle of the city. The Khmer
temple, Prang Sam Yot, is overrun with them and you have to ensure that they do
not steal any food or other items, like cameras, that you may have with you.
This city dates back about 1000 years and was described by Marco Polo in his
travels of this part of Asia.
West – Kanchanaburi – One day Mr. Tabtimdaeng said to
me, “Tomorrow we’re going to the bridge.” I had already learned that when he
said, “we’re going” that meant that I should be downstairs with my camera, hat,
and ready to get into the car immediately the next morning. But I had no idea
what he meant by “the bridge.” Was it supposed to be significant to me? When I
asked where the bridge was, he said, “In Kanchanaburi,” but that meant even
less. But I figured I’d find out when I got there.
After driving about two hours we got to the town. But before
going to “the bridge” we first stopped at the cemetery. It was then that I
realized where I was and the significance of this place. Kanchanaburi is the
home of the “Bridge over the River Kwai,” which has been made into a movie. In
WWII, the Japanese were trying to extend the railroad through Thailand and
across Burma to the ocean, giving them quick rail access to that area. They
used POWs as labor to help construct the railway. All the Australian, British
and Dutch POWs who died during the construction or who were killed are buried
in this cemetery – nearly 7000 of them. For comparison, the US cemetery in
Henri-Chapelle in Belgium has nearly 8000 graves and the Normandy cemetery in
France has over 9000, so this is on that same scale. However, while the
European cemeteries are in park-like settings, this is in the middle of the
city with four brick walls surrounding it, so very compact and every square
foot except the walkways part of a gravesite. I spent a fair amount of time
just walking among the graves, reading names and countries and mourning over
the loss of so many young lives. Truly a sobering experience.
We then drove a short distance across town to “the bridge,” but
now I was emotionally at least partly prepared for it. Because of the time of
day, we first had lunch at the restaurant overlooking the bridge. The bridge is
still an active rail bridge. After the war, as part of reparations, the
Japanese had to pay to have the damaged sections replaced. You are allowed to
walk all the way across. The section between the rails has been covered so that
walkers do not fall through. However, whenever a train (generally an excursion
train) comes, they blow their whistle and you have to hurry to the next pillar
where the bridge sections join and where they have built little platforms that
extend off to the side over the river and where you can be out of the way of
the train when it passes by, however slowly, just a foot or so from where you
are standing. This was one of the few “touristy” places that I went on my
travels in Thailand.
We then drove up the river to the Sinakharin Dam, a large
hydroelectric dam on the Kwai River (Khwae Yai). This is a magnificent dam that
is 460’ high and 2000’ long (at the crest). It produces 720 megawatts and was
completed in 1980 (so it’s fairly new). Looking down the valley between the
mountains in this area is a wonderful view and so different from the very flat
plain where Bangkok is located.
Southwest – Cha Am – On one of my few visits to the
Gulf of Thailand, the family drove down the western side of the gulf to Cha Am.
This is far enough from Bangkok (170+km) that there are no major crowds. We
bought lunch (fried chicken) from one of the many vendors who frequent beaches
like these, and enjoyed the great weather and the view of the gulf.
Southeast – Pattaya – On a weekend day, the family
hired a van and driver to take everyone to the beach at Pattaya. This is a very
popular resort place about 100km down the east side of the gulf. There is a
busy road that runs right along the waterfront, with hotels, food vendors, etc.
on the one side and the beach on the other. Because light-colored skin is very
desirable in Thailand, there are vendors who have set up many umbrellas, all
overlapping so that no sun gets on you, with beach chairs under them. About
half of the distance between the sidewalk and the water’s edge is taken up by
these umbrellas. You pay a small fee to sit under them, and then the various
food vendors come up and down the beach and sell you whatever food you’d like.
I did get out from under the umbrella a few times to go up the beach a little
and to get my legs and feet wet in the water, but the sun is pretty intense and
I was happy to retreat back into the shade. But it was somewhat strange to see
all these people under the umbrellas and relatively few people in the water.
Northeast – Khao Yai Park – On my last trip, I
decided to play tourist for a day and signed up for a trip from Bangkok to Khao
Yai National Park. It is a several hour drive from Bangkok, but the shuttle bus
stops at multiple hotels in the city (all in the early morning) before heading
out. There were two stops on the way there, one at a market (which was
interesting, but not something that I took the trip for), and one at a farm
which offered oxcart rides. The itinerary from TripAdvisor reads as follows:
06.30 - Depart
from Bangkok Hotel to Nakorn Nayok Province
Visit a local market to see the lifestyle of the
locals
Enjoy Ox-cart riding, which was the traditional
transportation in the past
Drive up to Khai Yai National Park
Go trekking along the jungle and visit the Heaw
Narok Waterfall, the most famous in the park
Enjoy a Thai lunch at a local restaurant
Enjoy Elephant riding
18.30 - Return to your Bangkok Hotel
The Heaw Karok Waterfall is 150m tall and is reached by
walking a long trail through the trees to the top of the falls. Then you have
to go down a long series of very steep stairs to the bottom of the falls (it’s
nice on the way down, but a LOT of tiring sets of steps coming back up!). We
saw some wild elephants along the road, then stopped for a late lunch in a
rural area on the far side of the park. After lunch they brought over a group
of elephants for our ride. The area is somewhat hilly, so the elephant stops on
a trail which runs below a platform where you climb on top (two passengers plus
the “driver” who sits on the elephant’s neck). The trail is down the hill
(leaning back so you don’t slide off the front of the elephant), then plodding
through a stream at the bottom. Finally back up the hill (leaning forward and
hanging on). The last part the “driver” gets off and invites one of the riders
to take his place on the neck. I was with a group of other tourists and allowed
my fellow rider to have the pleasure of moving forward. After a long drive, we
arrived back in Bangkok after dark. It was a long day, but I thought it worth
the roughly $100 it cost.
Food
Thai Food – Many people in the US have an idea that
Thai food is spicy. But that’s not the case, in fact there are a variety of
foods in Thailand and while some are spicy, most are not. Like most Asian
countries, there is generally a base of rice. Thai food is also always cut up
before it is put on the table, so there are no knives needed when you eat.
Rather, you eat with a large spoon in your right hand and a fork in your left,
but the only purpose for the fork is to push the food onto your spoon. Since I
generally was staying with a Thai family, I just ate what they ate and how they
ate. If I didn’t recognize something, I just waited long enough to make sure
that I was eating it correctly, and eating the right parts of it, then ate what
was in front of me.
Seafood Pizza – On the trip where I would be with
partners from AFS-USA, I got to the hotel we were staying in a day in advance
of the others and was on my own. The hotel was not in the part of Bangkok where
there were lots of eating establishments around and a look at the hotel
restaurant menu told me that they primarily catered to foreigners and had
typical American/European food. So I thought I’d wander through the small mall
that was attached to the hotel. Passing a Pizza Hut, I noticed that they had
displays of their food in the window and one particularly intrigued me –
seafood pizza. Since that is not something that we have in the US, I thought I’d
try it as I particularly like to have seafood in different parts of the world
because it is often locally available fish which varies from one part of the
world to another. The only thing about this dish that most folks in the US
would recognize as “pizza” was that it was on a base of a circle of bread. But
there was no tomato paste, no cheese, no pepperoni or sausage, etc. There were
small shrimp, clams, and large chunks of some sort of fish, all smothered in a
spicy, rich brown fish sauce. It was delicious!
American Breakfast – at the end of my second stay,
Noon’s aunt, and my host since I was staying in her house, declared that she
was going to make me an “American breakfast.” While I preferred eating Thai
food, since she was determined to do this for me, I figured I should go along
with her suggestion. But I was unprepared for what she thought were appropriate
volumes of food! Let’s see if I can remember it all – (3) sunny-side-up eggs
[so far so good], (8) slices of bacon, (6) sausage [actually fried hot dogs],
(4) slices of toast, a large(!) glass of orange juice, a large glass of milk,
and a medium-sized bowl of cut-up fruit. While all these are appropriate
American breakfast foods, it was more than I am used to having for about three
days. But to leave food on the table is an insult, so I had no choice but to
eat it all.
Eating out – When I was there for the AFS World
Congress, we had a free night off. All the Thai members of the team that I had
met with on my prior visit decided to have a reunion and take me out to a
popular Thai restaurant. Most of them met me at the hotel where I was staying
and we took a couple of taxis to the restaurant where the others would meet us.
Like many Thai restaurants, this was outdoors and there were several eating
areas on little decks overlooking a pond which ran alongside the restaurant.
So, with much of the conversation taking place in Thai and me being the only
non-Thai in sight, I sat back in bliss, enjoying the evening, eating the food
that the others picked out for me and being with friends (many of whom I still “see”
regularly on Facebook to this day). I truly enjoy the times when there are no
other “foreigners” around and I can just get to be a part of the culture around
me.
Meeting My Brother – On that same trip, I was able to
spend a day with my brother Edd and sister-in-law Ingrid. They had recently
gone back into missionary work and were located in Bangkok while they learned
to speak Thai. They had classes each morning, but were able to spend the bulk
of day with me. After visiting their apartment we began a tour of some parts of
Bangkok that I had not been in before.
We took the BTS down to the southern part of the city, first
stopping at the small international church where they were attending, then to
the last stop before the train crossed the Chao Phraya River on the King Taksin
Bridge. There we boarded a boat to take us up the river. It docked near the Wat
Arun (Temple of Dawn). After some walking around the area, we went out the back
side of the temple into a local street to find some place to get lunch.
Choosing a very small place with just a few tables, we entered. The proprietress
had this very scared look on her face! Here were three foreigners sitting in
her restaurant, she spoke no English and had no English menus. But then my
brother turned to her and began speaking Thai and she visibly relaxed.
I saw a number of other things that day including The Grand
Palace (where the King of Thailand is now resting in state) and the Temple of
the Emerald Buddha. But it’s not the touristy things that stay impressed on my
memory, it’s the interactions with the people like the lady in the restaurant.
Meeting over Meals – As I concluded my last trip I
stayed for several days in Bangkok. I had been in touch with many of the Thai
students who had been in the US of the past several years and whom I had gotten
to know. So I was able to make arrangements to meet with most of them during
those days in Thailand. Often I would have a lunch meeting with one student and
dinner that evening with another. Since most people in Bangkok use public
transportation, we went to restaurants in the area of the hotel. But one of the
girls said that she would come by and pick me up in a car (she borrowed her
mother’s car for the evening). She drove us to a restaurant on the west side of
Bangkok that she said she had always wanted to visit. As I sat there chatting
with her over the meal, I thought how fortunate I was. Here I was, in a foreign
city that many people in the US would like to be able to visit, enjoying a
series of meetings with a succession of beautiful young girls (all were in
their early-mid-20s at the time). Both of us had successfully crossed cultural
boundaries – they in coming to the US for a year of high school, and I in
coming to Thailand to participate in their culture. We had different
backgrounds, different religions, and were very different ages, but we could
meet together and appreciate both our differences and our similarities. How
wonderful it would be if more people could do that!
Hellos and
Goodbyes
Greetings – During my first full day on my first
trip, Noon had told me that I should expect to be visited by a number of her
relatives. After all, it’s not every day that one’s “American father” comes to
visit. I was seated with her in their living room and could hear voices
outside. She told me, that’s my uncle. He came in the room and walked toward
me. I stood and was preparing to greet him with the traditional Thai bow –
hands together, etc. Instead, I was surprised that he stuck out his hand to
shake mine, to which I thought, “he’s going to greet me in the US tradition
instead,” so I shook his hand. But the next words out of his mouth were, “How
old are you?” I was a bit taken aback, as this is not the typical first
question that anyone in the US asks, but I also quickly went through the
reading on culture that I had done and realized why he was asking. Relative age
is very important in Thailand and the younger person must honor the older
person, including by bowing more deeply so that your head is below the other
persons. Since we were both older gentlemen with balding, white/grey hair, he
did not know if I was older or younger and needed to know so that he knew how
to address me. All this thinking went through my head in a fraction of a second,
so I then answered him, to which he replied, “Ah, young man, young man.” (He
was about a year older than I was.)
I’ve used this story many times to illustrate how culture
plays a part in our lives. On the visit with the AFS-USA team I had told this
story to the team at the beginning of our time there. The following day, we
were visiting a school and the teacher asked the class if they had any
questions for us. One of them finally got up the nerve to talk and asked, “How
old are you?” which turned into a great teaching moment.
But I’d like to relate one other “greeting” incident where I
did NOT do the right thing. Most of the Thai members of our AFS-USA-Thailand group
were female, since most AFS volunteers in Thailand are teachers. They would
address me with the Thai greeting, “Suwadee Kha”. So I decided that I would
greet them back by saying “Suwadee Kha” to them. But this only generated a lot
of giggling on their part. It turns out that “Suwadee” means not simply “Hello,”
but something more like “Hello from,” and the “Kha” part is feminine. So “Suwadee
Bangkok” on a t-shirt means “Hello from Bangkok” and “Suwadee Kha” means “hello
from a female!” Thus, when I say hello I need to use the male ending and say, “Suwadee
Khrap.” They quickly corrected me and I added to my knowledge of cultural
mistakes!
Goodbyes – On my first visit to Thailand, I stayed
the entire time with my AFS daughter, Noon, and her family. When she had been a
part of our family here in the US we were a typically demonstrative family with
frequent hugs as a sign of affection. But I knew that when I visited her in
Thailand that I should respect their customs which do not have that component.
However, when her family took me to the airport for my flight back to
Singapore, I did not know if that would be the last time that I would see her.
So I turned to her father and asked him for permission to give her a hug before
I left and he consented. I gave her a quick hug, then left, but with tears in my eyes (which I even
have now as I reflect on that memory).
I was fortunate in that I was able to not only visit again,
but twice more. But each time I did not know if that would be the last time. By
my last visit I was sufficiently skilled in navigating Bangkok that I had
booked my own taxi to the airport for early in the morning. I did not have any
stay with Noon’s family on that trip, but I had arranged to meet her for lunch
one day at the Siam Paragon mall. We talked over lunch, then she accompanied me
back to the Ratchathewi BTS station next to my hotel before she would continue
back north to her home. She was now in her mid-20’s a fine young lady whom I
have the privilege to know. As we stood on the platform, but without her father
this time, I asked her if it was okay if I gave her a hug. Her reply was, “Of
course, you’re my dad!”
Closing Thoughts
This has been a week when I’ve thought a lot about Thailand.
Earlier this week King Bhumibol, who has been the king of the country for 70
years, passed away after a long illness. The entire country is in mourning. And
I weep with them as they reflect on someone who has been more of a father
figure to all his people than a king.
Just yesterday I received a reminder on my computer that my
Thai daughter, Noon, will be turning 30 next Friday. So in these reflections I
not only look back at my times in Thailand, thinking on all that I have
experienced there, but I continue to look forward, knowing that there is a
young lady in that country who has said to me, “Of course, you’re my dad!”
