Gender and Sex – Part 3 – Other Related Topics

In this section I’d like to discuss a number of gender/sex topics that draw upon the five aspects that I have presented in parts 1 and 2.  I will refer to these five aspects using (1)-(5).

Male-Female Binary

There are a number of individuals who believe in a male-female binary. In this argument, there are only two versions of “sexual normative” individuals. Using the prior five aspects, a sexual normative male is one who is genetically male (1), biologically male (2), and identifies as a male (5). This individual is also heterosexual (4) and expresses himself as a male (3) – at least as much as possible within the cultural in which he lives. A sexually normative female is genetically female (1), biologically female (2), and identifies as a female (5) and is also heterosexual (4) and expresses herself as a female (3) – again as much as possible within the culture in which she lives. Anything other than these two types of individuals is considered to be a perversion [note that negative connotations are generally used] and is someone who needs to be “changed” to fit the binary model.

Cisgender-Transgender binary

A more recent binary argument is the use of the term cisgender. This term only dates back about 20 years and is used to define anyone who is not transgendered. A mild definition is that it refers to someone “whose experiences of their own gender (5) agree with the sex they were assigned at birth (2). But it has also been defined as those who “have a gender identity (5) or perform a gender role (3) society considers appropriate for one’s sex (2)” (see https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cisgender). However, the Urban Dictionary defines it as “A derogatory term used by members of the trans community to refer to all the disgusting people in this world who don’t hate their genitalia” (see http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=cisgender).

GLBT/LGBT and Other Variations

The use of the term GLBT (gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, trans-sexual) (or LGBT for those who want the female term to take precedence) also dates back about 20 years. The terms in use before then were primarily gay (which tended to only recognize the male-male relationships) or homosexual (which did not include other forms of sexual orientation). However, since then the number of combinations that have been added to this “alphabet soup” of an acronym has expanded greatly (see https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LGBT).

The most common acronym that I have seen recently is GLBTQIA (gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, trans-sexual, questioning, intersex, ally). But I have seen everything up to LGBTTQQFAGBDSM which I won’t even attempt to decode here. However, some of the added letters are not so much an attempt to include other variations as they are to increase the number of people who are associated with organizations which use these terms and to thus increase their political clout.

In particular, the “Q” for questioning is to encourage young people to feel included, primarily older adolescents who are still experiencing the impact of hormones on their not-yet-quite-mature bodies, to join in the movement and to possibly sway them into sexual orientations that they would not have otherwise. Also, the “A” for ally is to encourage others, primarily college students who are also subject to the liberal biases of their professors to associate with the movement even if their own sexual orientation is not part of the GLBT portion.

However, there are even some who are part of the above definition who are not supportive of the continual adding of letters and who believe that doing so distracts from their own position. In particular, those who are trans-gendered and those who are intersex may not want to just get lumped in with the predominant sexual orientation of the GLBT group as they have very different issues that they want to have discussed.

How Many Genders are There?

At the opposite end of the male/female binary argument are those who propose a laundry list of various combinations. Recently the UK has asked school children to check off one of a list of 23 possibilities on what gender they identify with (see http://dailycaller.com/2016/02/01/uk-government-survey-asks-kids-to-choose-one-of-23-genders/). The first two are the familiar “Male” and “Female”, but then there are such choices as “Agender,” “Demi-boy” and “Tri-gender.” And even with all of those choices, there is still an “Other” box. I’m not sure how a young person is even supposed to understand the differences between the various options. And if that list is not long enough for you, Facebook at one time gave users 58 possible choices (see http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/headlines/2014/02/heres-a-list-of-58-gender-options-for-facebook-users/), many of which I don’t understand – such as what is the difference between “Trans Male,” “Trans* Male,” “Trans Man,” “Trans* Man,” “Transgender Male,” “Transgender Man,” “Transsexual Male,” and “Transsexual Man”? And this list does not cover the possible variations in the sexual orientation aspect!

More recently, Facebook decided that even this was not enough and you can build your own “custom” gender in a freeform field (see https://www.rt.com/usa/236283-facebook-gender-custom-choice/).

Fear of the Unknown and False Attribution

There is a natural human tendency to be afraid or at least wary of the unknown. Thus, when presented with a new situation we want to back away at least initially. We are also much more likely to believe the “stories” that we hear, however sensational, when we have no experience to guide us. This is true in the gender/sex area as well. Our discomfort with either discussing or encountering new areas heightens our awareness so that we can get quite emotional in our responses. Let me give a few examples.

Back when I was growing up, it was pretty much a male/female binary world. The Internet did not yet exist so we were not aware of anything except what we could read in our local newspaper. And while we read about homosexuality in the Bible, we had no recent experience with it as most homosexuals were still “in the closet.” So our only concern in being “safe” was to ensure that individuals who had a penis did not have opportunity to be in close connection with individuals who had a vagina – apart from the marriage relationship. So we had Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts which were sex segregated and any gatherings that included both boys and girls, such as a school dance, were heavily chaperoned.

Then homosexuals came “out of the closet” and we developed a whole new set of fears. We immediately assumed the worst – that anyone who was homosexual was also a sexual predator. We reacted by isolating such individuals – they weren’t safe around boys and they still weren’t safe around girls. We also began assuming that any boy who was effeminate (3) was also at least a latent homosexual (4) and in the process may have driven those individuals in that direction.

The same thing is happening now in the trans-gender area (5). In the absence of good information we are afraid and with the Internet we feed on those fears with every new story. And we falsely attribute such individuals with characteristics that may not be true.

But let’s be honest – the world is not filled with people who spend every waking moment thinking about how to fulfill their sexual desires. And to attribute that to anyone in situations that you may not understand is unfair to all parties involved.

About 15 years ago I had a significant experience with a kidney stone. Part of the initial treatment was the insertion of a stent between the affected kidney and my bladder so that the stone could not block the opening of the ureter. This was a surgical procedure where the stent was inserted through my penis, up the urethra, through the bladder and up the ureter. It was done under anesthesia – and frankly I was in so much pain that I didn’t even notice who was in the OR with me.

A few weeks later, after the medication I was prescribed had an opportunity to dissolve the stone, I had an outpatient procedure to remove the stent. As I walked into the outpatient operating room I found that the OR nurse, the only individual in the room at the time, happened to be someone who I knew. She would be assisting the urologist in the procedure. I will admit to being initially a bit wary – knowing that a female who I knew was going to be assisting in a procedure that involved my “privates”. But then I knew that I had to set those fears aside – she was just going to be doing her job, the one she was trained for. And I was going to be under sedation when it happened, so I shouldn’t worry about it.

About five years later, I was having my annual review with my urologist. Normally it was just he who came into the examining room as I “dropped my drawers” for the examination. But this year he had a medical student who was in training to become a urologist who was following him throughout his daily procedures – and the student happened to be female. To be fair, he did ask if I was ok with having her observing since it was part of her training. I am not in the habit of exposing myself to 20-something females (and this time not under sedation) – but once again I had to quickly decide that she would just be doing the job that she was training for and there was nothing sexual involved, so I consented.

Fear of the unknown is not unusual. But we need to be careful to not overreact to either misinformation or partial information. And we should not falsely attribute characteristics to others just because we are not experienced or informed.

Cultural Issues

There are cultural aspects to a number of the issues in the gender/sex area. I’m writing this to a primarily US American audience. But there are other countries, or even cultural groups in the US that have “norms” that are different than those that most of us in the country have. So we need to be careful that we don’t present our own experience as being the “right” one. Just a few examples:

Individuals in Australia may have passports with a gender of M, F, or X – the X being “indeterminate/intersex/unspecified”. These individuals can enter/leave the US, but US citizens do not have this flexibility (https://www.passports.gov.au/passportsexplained/theapplicationprocess/eligibilityoverview/Pages/changeofsexdoborpob.aspx)

German saunas are not gender-restricted and may only be used if one is totally nude. While one can certainly opt out of using this type of facility, some German families may have a sauna in the home where the entire family participates together. This can present some interesting culture shock if the family is hosting an exchange student. But others may also have issues (see http://monkeysandmountains.com/german-sauna for one amusing account).

Continue to part 4 - https://ramblinrussells.blogspot.com/2016/05/gender-and-sex-part-4-how-do-i-feel.html