Several years ago, I wrote the story about the parents and grandparents of my wife’s father, Charles VanDeCar (see here). I’ll not even try to summarize it here as it’s too complicated, but suffice it to say that there were so many divorces and remarriages among this group that at one time my wife had six people just on her father’s side whom she called “grandma” – they were her biological grandmother and two biological great-grandmothers, plus a step-grandmother and two step-grandmothers. And since nearly all these unions resulted in children there were siblings, step-siblings, half-siblings, ex-step-siblings, etc. – you get the picture. And this was just on my wife’s father’s side of the family.
What also needs telling is the equally interesting
story on my wife’s mother’s side of the family.
The Story of Frank Wright
[Frank – WA29]
Frank’s parents were Jonah Wright (1825-1879) and
Abigail Barrows (1841-1920). He was the fifth of seven children. Because Jonah
had been 40 when he married, Frank was only six years old when his father died.
But Abigail ruled her household with an iron hand and the death of Jonah did
not impact those plans. She and her six children (one had died young) moved to
another town where she purchased a farm and continued to raise them. In 1895,
she moved again with all her children (even though they were all of
marriageable age, they remained with her). Part of the reason may have been
that one of her daughters had given birth to an out-of-wedlock child whom
Abigail was raising as her own and this allowed them to start over without that
stigma being known.
[Abigail – WA12]
Over the next several years, four of the children
married (at ages 34, 32, 21, and 40). Even in marrying, all but one remained in
the same neighborhood. Two sons remained unmarried, Frank remaining with his
mother, and Orrin remaining as well. (I believe that Orrin may have had
mental issues as he was never able to leave to live on his own. He finally passed
on at age 62, still single, and never having lived on his own.) In order to
keep her family close, during this time period Abigail purchased an unused
school building and had it moved to her property so her grandchildren could
attend it (you can read that story here).
Finally, in 1920, with her grandmother ailing, Abigail’s illegitimate
granddaughter also married (at age 24). Abigail passed away a few months later.
Now in his late 40’s, and freed from having to care
for his mother (but still with the care of his brother), Frank was free to
marry.
The Story of Cassie Cincush
Cassie’s parents were Adolph Cincush (1857-1927) and
Annie Addis (1871-1908). Adolph had immigrated from Germany in 1862 with his
mother and step-father. Annie had also immigrated in 1872 with her parents. He
and Annie had married in September 1888 when he was 31 and Annie was 17 (and 5
months pregnant). Cassie was born in February 1890, their second child. Adolph
and Annie had three more children before Annie died in 1908 when Cassie was 18.
Adolph remarried two years later in 1910 to Minnie Wiseman. When she passed
away in 1921, Adolph married a third time in 1923 (at age 65) to Mary Cooper.
On the same day in 1908 when her mother died, Cassie
(age 18), and Indice Eaton (age 20), had registered to get married in the local
courthouse. However, the death of Annie interfered with their plans and they
did not return to the courthouse. Thus, it was not until the end of the
following year, 1909, that the marriage took place. She was 19 and he was 21. They
lived in the house next door to Indice’s parents. They had five children
together between 1911 and 1916, with intervals of 14 months, 14 months, 21
months, and 16 months between them. Then in 1917 (with the children being 6, 4,
3, 1, and 5 months), Indice died at the age of just 28.
[Indice and Cassie – WA38]
It had been said of the couple that Indice “had a very
weak spine” whereas Cassie “had all spine!” Indice was also an alcoholic and a
heavy smoker. (His death certificate indicated the cause of death as not known,
but that he had an epileptic type convulsion and that heavy tobacco use was a
contributing factor.) When Indice died, his mother accused Cassie of having
killed him and even tried to prove it in court. But their neighbors in the
house on the other side of Cassie’s, the Kooyers, and many other people in town
backed Cassie and the accusation would not hold. However, with Cassie being
widowed and not having any means of supporting the family, Indice’s parents
were successful in gaining custody of four of the five children (only Isabell
remained with her mother). Indice’s mother forbad the other children from any
contact with Cassie and it was not until after her death in 1930 that much
interaction took place.
Thus, before the age of 30, and with some nasty court
proceedings and having lost a custody battle behind her, Cassie was widowed and
had no family income.
The Story of Frank and Cassie
Both Frank and Cassie were now living in Ellsworth, a
small town where the families all knew one another. Frank now only had his
older brother, Orrin, who helped him on their farm – but he needed someone to
take care of the house, to cook meals, etc. And Cassie was now widowed with one
daughter and no one to earn a living. Thus, it seemed natural for the two of
them to get married and each fulfill a needed role in the life of the other. So,
in 1922, they married. Frank was 48 years old and Cassie was only 33. Cassie
began working in the fields (with Frank and Orrin), and her daughter from her
first marriage, Isabell, was trained to manage the household duties.
[Frank & Cassie – WA47]
They immediately started having more children, with
five born over the next 8 years (intervals of 20 months, 17 months, 15 months,
and 26 months – Cassie was just as productive as with her first husband). As
the children got older, Isabell began training the oldest, Frances, to also
manage the household duties.
The 1930 census captures this well. There are eight
people living in the house. The adults are Frank, Cassie, and Orrin – all of
whom are working on the farm. Isabell is 14 and is in charge of the household
and the young children. And there are four children from Frank and Cassie (the
last was not yet born). They are ages 6, 5, almost 4, and 4 months.
In 1934, Frank’s brother, Orrin, passed away. Losing
his partner in working in the fields, that role now fell even more to his wife
and his children. Even though they ranged in age from 11 to 3, he still put
them to work. Isabell continued to manage the household chores, with the help
of Frances, until she finally married a few years later. By then Frances was old
enough to handle them by herself. My wife’s mother often commented that the
only reason that her father had children was that they were cheaper than
horses.
Unlike the situation in Frank’s family where only one
of Frank’s siblings married before the age of 30, marriage was a way out for
Frank and Cassie’s children. Three of them married before the age of 20 and one
was killed in WWII at the age of 19.
Even though Cassie was much younger than Frank, she
passed away first at the age of 59. Frank almost immediately remarried (at age
75) and did not pass away until age 84 in 1957.
The Next Chapter
Despite all the marriages/divorces/remarriages in the
VanDeCar family, and the tension/death/etc. issues in the Wright/Eaton family,
it’s comforting to know that these kinds of negatives do not necessarily have
to carry on. My wife’s parents, even with all the trauma in their respective
lives, were determined to remain married to each other. And so they did, marrying
in 1945 and remaining together for over 60 years until their respective deaths
in 2006 and 2010. Their lives were not perfect, indeed that could be said of
all of us, but their commitment outweighed all the rest.
