Christmas 2024

Family

As has been our family custom for many years, we had our full family together at Pinebrook in the Poconos in the summer. We had thought that 2023 would be the last year to have all 7 grandchildren, but Aryon got a summer job working there so we were blessed to have them all together this past summer as well. Below is a picture of all of them.

For a few months all of them were 1x years old – Asher turned 10 in July and Aryon did not turn 20 until October. Aryon is now in his second year of college, Tiernan is a senior in high school (he once again took a missions trip to Japan to help take care of a group of younger students while their parents, who are missionaries, had a week of meetings), and Ilyanna is in 9^th grade. In PA, the four boys are in grades 9, 7, 7, and 5 this year. We’ve enrolled Ethan in a dual-enrollment program at Liberty University Online Academy where he will graduate in 2028 with a high school diploma as well as a full associates’ degree. We’re planning on doing the same with all the younger boys as well.

Ethan is led in his coursework by Kim, and I handle the three younger boys – with the exception of Isaiah and Caleb taking Spanish (led by Kim as she knows that language and I do not) and Asher’s literature class where Donna has a chance to get involved. All of them are straight A students. It keeps me busy every day as I sit in my recliner and there is a constant stream of boys coming through my room.

 

Medical

While I’ve been dealing with various medical issues over the years, 2024 was a memorable one. I’ve had a diabetic ulcer on the bottom of my right foot for several years. Over the Christmas holidays last year, I developed a case of COVID. It was not a bad case, but the extra level of infection got into my foot. I went into the hospital on January 2^nd and didn’t come home for an entire month. And when I did come home it was after a partial foot amputation. The surgeon did an excellent job of closing the wound back up, but having only a partial foot has been a definite challenge (see picture below).

          I can get around pretty well, but only with the use of a cane. People see me as pretty normal as I have a “toe-filler” prosthesis and wear a regular shoe. But navigating stairs is difficult and I am constantly in danger of falling. I have other medical issues, but this one overshadows all of them. At home I spend most of my time in a recliner as I want to avoid any further injury to that foot. Getting old is not for the faint of heart.

          I’ve had to give up all outdoor activities. It’s good to have several growing grandsons around to pick up tasks like grass mowing, taking the trash cans up to the corner each week, and even smaller things like walking up to get the mail each day.

          On the plus side, I can now relate easily to other older member of the church who have canes or who have issues like Alzheimer’s, Parkinsons, or any of the other infirmities that come with getting older.

 

Genealogy

          While a large portion of my day is consumed by overseeing the schooling of our grandsons, I’m still quite involved in genealogy – mostly for others. As an example, just this week I was able to introduce two men in our church to each other as being third cousins (i.e. sharing a great-great-grandfather) that they had not been aware of.

          A lot of my investigation is for people in our church (where I am related to about 2/3 of them) or to some of our new neighbors, I’m also enjoying my relationships with others in the Pierpont/Russell lines with whom I have established relationships in the past. I am now the official historian of the Pierpont Family Association due to the passing of Bob Kraft, but with my driving being restricted due to my foot, I may not be able to go to our annual meetings. While many of these relatives are not like me and they have different views on life (including their political persuasion during the past election season), I enjoy the challenge of not being in a political “echo chamber” and having my views be challenged.

 

Putting Christ in Christmas

          This time of year is one where I focus on sharing my Christian values with those around me. For those reading this who share those values, may the joy of Christ encourage you. Any of those who may not share those values, know that we love you anyway. Christ is the basis for our family’s outlook and we will always encourage others to see His love through us.

 

Merry Christmas!

Alan & Donna

 

 

Term Party

I spent my college career at Michigan State – 5 years (3 undergrad and 2 years of grad school). I was in an off-campus housing unit the entire time. Like other such housing units (fraternities and sororities), we had a number of social activities. One of the major ones was our annual term party held in early June. We held this at a camp in the small town of Wolverine that was owned by a former member of the housing unit. Renting the camp would typically have been way in excess of what we could have afforded, so we had a unique way of paying for it. In the early part of the quarter (MSU had not yet made the conversion to semesters), several of us made the trek north (about 200 miles – a little less than a 3 hour drive) and spent a weekend opening up the camp for the summer season – cleaning the rooms, sweeping all the floors, making all the beds, clearing all the walkways of winter debris, etc. This would have taken the owner and his wife several weeks or he would have had to pay someone, so it was a good trade of our hours of work in return for a weekend rental about two weeks later.

On term party weekend, we carpooled north to Wolverine. Carpooling was necessary because not many in college owned or had access to cars. After the evening meal, we could gather around the campfire or meet in small groups in the main open room. On Saturday many of us went canoeing on the nearby Sturgeon River or hiked on trails around the campground.

Saturday supper was an award ceremony with a number of interesting awards. In 1970, the first time I went with a date – the girl who I had recently begun dating and to whom I would get engaged that fall and married the following summer – I got the MO cup. The MO was marked on the glass cup as standing for “Most Outstanding” and was passed on from the person who had won the award the prior year. But privately, we guys know that it stood for “Make Out” and was given in recognition of that dubious award.

In the evening, the camp owner brought his hay wagon – pulled by horses and loaded with bales of hay fit sitting on. The hill behind the camp – with the darkness of being away from the “civilization” that we were used to in East Lansing – offered a nice view of the stars and was a great view for couples.

On Sunday many of made the trek to the nearby town of Petoskey (about 25-30 miles away) and attended church there. After lunch we regathered in our carpools and made the journey back to East Lansing – giving us enough time for any class assignments which were due the following day.

Our ride back was a pretty interesting one. There were six in the car – 3 guys and 3 girls – as this was a time when cars still came with bench seats. To pass the time we told a “story” which could have as many as 26 lines. The first person said one line which was “I went to the store and I saw a ____” where the blank was an adjective-noun pair each starting with the letter “A”. Everyone else listened. Then the next person repeated that line and added “and _____” where the blank was an adjective-noun pair each starting with the letter “B”. This continued around the six of us with the “story” growing with each repetition. So your mind was consumed with having to remember an increasing number of word pairs as well as having to compose the next alphabetized pair when it was your turn. And with the silly pairs that were being said, the amount of laughter was also growing.

It’s now over 54 years since that event, and I can still remember all 26 of the eventual word pairs. In fact, I can also repeat them in reverse alphabetical order. For those who care, here they are (with a few editorial comments):

·       Adorable aardvark

·       Brown bear

·       Kooky cat – not a “C”, but sounds like it

·       Delinquent dog

·       Enormous elephant

·       Fastidious fish

·       Gouted goat

·       Huge heffalump – from Winnie the Pooh

·       Inquisitive ibex

·       Jumbo jet – the first non-animal, but we were pretty forgiving given the amount of laughter in the car

·       Klean kitchen – not a “K” here, but this will balance out the “C” above

·       Lamentable llama – starting to make pairs with long words to make them harder to remember

·       Morose moose

·       Nefarious nodule

·       Opulent owl

·       Petoskey’s pavement – we had been here earlier that day

·       Queer quirk

·       Redundant racoon

·       Sterile stegosaurus

·       Tintinnabulating tutor

·       Unforgettable umbrella – sounds like a good idea

·       Voluptuous vacuum cleaner

·       Wonderful Wolverine – another town we had been in

·       Exuberant xylophone – hard to come up with “X” words

·       Yellow yak

·       Xenophobic zebra – ah, here’s the missing “X”

 

Ah yes, such wonderful memories of those earlier years – but of course the best part was my date for the weekend – the girl who I’m still married to!

 

Middle School Drama

The Students

Judy was one of the tallest students in her 7^th grade class. While it’s not unusual for girls to get their growth earlier than boys at that age, Judy had gotten hers earlier than most. The other students in her class would tend to use adjectives such as tall, pretty, or even large words such as statuesque to describe her. But her close friends, who knew her well, would use such descriptors as kind, friendly, or loving – words which focused on her personality instead of her physical attributes.  She had only been in this school since last spring, but she already had several close friends.

Paul was one of the few students who was taller than Judy. But his was not a result of early growth – rather he was taller because he was older than all the others in the class. He had been held back twice already because he was a poor student. But he used his size as a way of bullying other students. His fellow classmates were generally afraid of him.

At the other end of the height spectrum was Thomas. If you were acquainted with his family, you would conclude that he was likely to be taller than most eventually, but he was a late starter and for now was the smallest in his class. However, what he lacked in height he made up for in his intelligence and he was generally well liked.

 

The Confrontation

It was the first day of school after the Christmas break, so perhaps Paul was tired of visiting relatives for the past two weeks and being the “little kid” compared to all his relatives. But whatever the reason, he was trying to reestablish his position. When he saw Judy at her locker at lunchtime, he came up behind her and put his arm on the adjoining locker – effectively blocking her in with the open locker door on one side and his arm on the other. Speaking loud enough for the other students in the area to hear as well, he said to Judy, “Hi there, beautiful, how’d you like to be my girl this year?”

Judy had no desire for such a relationship, but she didn’t want to give a totally negative reply, so she just said simply, “Please leave me alone.” Refusing to be rebuffed, Paul reiterated, “Aw, come on, we’d make such a great tall couple.” Judy responded again by telling Paul, “No thank you.”

Thomas had his locker right across the hall. Although he didn’t want to get involved, he could sense Judy’s discomfort. So he crossed the hall, and, coming up behind Paul, said, “You heard the lady, Paul, please leave her alone.” Paul turned his head and, having to look down at Thomas who was a good foot shorter than he was, said, “Get lost, shrimp!”

Not one to be put off so easily, Thomas repeated, “Please leave her alone.” Paul’s response was to turn toward Thomas and give him a push, saying, “Pick on someone your own size!” He then turned back toward Judy.

Once recovered from that push, Thomas again crossed the hall and tapped Paul on the back. When Paul turned to face him again, Timothy swung a fist toward Paul. Being so much shorter, his punch connected with Paul below the belt. Paul immediately collapsed, holding his abdomen, and groaning. Freed from being pinned against the locker, Judy stepped over the groaning Paul. She briefly turned and said to him, “Yes, Paul, pick on someone your own size!”

 

The Aftermath

There were a number of whispered conversations all that afternoon. Judy’s friends all wanted to talk to her and get her perspective on what had happened. Paul’s former followers, who were never really friends, kept saying in his direction, “Pick on someone your own size, Paul.” Thomas heard a continual whisper of “Nice job, Thomas!”

The teachers, none of whom had happened to witness the actual event after lunchtime, were silently happy that Paul had been put in his place as school regulations prevented them from any physical encounter with a student. But their response of closer scrutiny of Paul for the rest of the school year ensured that he was no longer able to collect a gathering of followers and be the bully that he had previously been.

At the end of the school day, Thomas was a little surprised when Judy came up to him at his locker and said bluntly to him, “I’d like to have you as a protector, would you be willing to walk me home?” And so, to the sigh of many other girls in the hall at the time, Thomas did so – the first of many such walks together.

Medical Concerns

For each of the areas below I will indicate the current status. If I take any medications for any of these, they will be shown as bullet points under that item.

 

Brain – no concerns. ABC (Aging Brain Cohort) testing continues to indicate no brain issues – yay! I’m also in a few other periodic testing groups which collect results from large groups to look for causes, etc. (MindCrowd, APT-Webstudy (Alzheimer’s Prevention Trials), PPMI (Parkinsons’s Progression Marker Initiative)). Apart from using my knowledge in this area to help minister to others at church, etc. who are having mental issues (Jerry Engle, Ron Shoemaker, etc.) I’m going to remove this from my list of concerns and periodic reporting.

 

Head – Still a small dent where a cyst was removed this summer. Not a significant issue, but I wish it would go away. I have a habit of picking at it, so I’ve temporarily gone back to having a band-aid on it.

·       Aquaphor healing ointment

·       Sensitive skin extra large band-aids. Regular band-aids irritate my skin, and smaller ones come loose too easily. This kind has areas to stick on all four sides and don’t come loose.

 

Heart – Since the heart attack I had back in January 2005 was such a major one (chance of survival about 7%), I continue to see my cardiologist every six months for close monitoring. I have had no issues with it in the ensuing nearly 20 years, but keeping close tabs on it is still important.

·       Baby aspirin (daily) – recommended for heart attack patients.

·       Carvedilol (twice daily) – a beta blocker. Keeps blood pressure from getting too high. Recently moved from metoprolol tartrate to carvedilol at the recommendation of my liver doctor as this will help in the liver area as well (see below). Monitored my blood pressure for the three days it took to stabilize during the transition, but I seem to be doing well with the minimum dosage.

 

Foot – Major concentration on staying off my foot as much as possible. Walking around the house in just socks seems to work okay, but I am sensitive to coming close to falling quite often. Definitely no walking outside or in non-home venues without cane support. It’s a bit frustrating to not be able to help with outside chores, but our grandsons are getting old enough that they are starting to pick up the slack. However, I’m aware of the extra strain this puts on my wife since I am unable to assist her as I used to. But since any further problems with my foot would have major implications on being able to walk or to drive and not sure how I’d deal with loss of mobility that “fear” drives my staying off my foot. But I’m aware that this impacts my being able to contribute to family functioning and the stress in the home.

·       Aquaphor healing ointment – in order to keep the line where the skin flap from the bottom of my foot was sewn to the top of my foot moist, I use this ointment every few days. If it were to get dry, then it would be subject to possible other issues in the future which is something that I DO NOT want to happen.

 

Diabetes – Change in medication at the beginning of the year (by hospital doctors during my amputation) and removal of Farxiga and Trulicity was not adequately compensated for by increase in Lantus. Also did not notice that my prescription for Metformin changed from 1000 unit pills to 500 unit pills, so inadvertently decreased my daily usage by half until I noticed the change in hardness of the new pills.  Definitely need to have input from an endocrinologist to determine path forward. Some possibility that I may end up having to take insulin with each meal – not something I’m looking forward to, but failure to get my blood sugars down could have other, more serious consequences. Liver specialist (see next item) has recommended taking Ozempic. This will impact several areas: (1) reduction of weight [goal is about 25 pounds]; assistance in diabetes; help with liver issues (next item).

·       Metformin – 1000 units twice daily

·       Lantus – currently taking 75 units/day each evening

·       Ozempic – TBD

 

Colon – I had three(!) colonoscopies last year. The first was a normal periodic one where they found several (9) polyps. The second one was a follow-up which found one more in the same area. Then the third was with a specialist checking to make sure that there was no inherent difficulty in that part of the colon. I have another colonoscopy scheduled this year since the number of polyps has me on an annual checkup instead of the more typical 5-year schedule. Hoping that this one will be uneventful.

 

Abdominal Issues – Latest report from MRI which confirmed issues such as enlarged spleen (splenomegaly), mild cirrhosis of liver, and portal hypertension is concerning. After consultation with a liver specialist and getting an ultrasound of my abdomen, he is recommending Ozempic which will address the mild cirrhosis as well as impact my diabetes. I’ll be discussing this with my primary care physician next month. Then I’ll be getting bloodwork and ultrasound every six months to ensure that things don’t get any worse. The primary concern here is with the cirrhosis of the liver with the other organs being “downstream” issues. The prescription of Ozempic (or possible Rybelsus instead) will not only affect my insulin levels, but is also expected to result in about a 10% weight loss as it slows the digestive process. This slowing will make it easier for my liver to deal with things and prevent further deterioration.

·       Ozempic - TBD

 

Blood – There are a number of factors here:

(1) Blood analysis – The amount of iron in my blood, as measured by things like red blood cells and hemoglobin, has always been on the low side. I started giving blood over a decade ago and went every two months. But the level of iron was always marginal and I would occasionally fail to meet the minimum and be rejected. Earlier this year, with all the other medical issues I was facing, I failed yet again and made the decision to stop giving.

(2) Clotting factor – My platelet count has also always been on the low end (60-110 when they prefer 140+). While it is not so low that I would be ineligible for various operations due to risk of bleeding, it is something that the doctor has been keeping an eye on.

(3) Cholesterol – following my heart attack back in 2005, they prescribed a statin to prevent my cholesterol from getting too high. That has worked very well. However, that med does not impact my triglycerides. I’m taking a fairly high dose of Omega-3 (fish oil) to try and lower it, but have only managed to get it from “off the charts” to “too high”.

·       Simvastatin – keeps cholesterol under control. My levels have been excellent since I started taking this several years ago.

·       Omega-3 – primary out-of-range item with my lipid levels is my triglycerides. While ideal would be to have them less than 150, this keeps them less than 400. That’s not ideal, but that’s the best I seem to be able to do.

 

Miscellaneous –

·       Pantoprazol – one small tablet a day. Because of the number of oral meds I’ve been taking, an endoscopy revealed some irritation of the lining of the stomach and duodenum. So the solution to too many pills is (of course) another pill. Since I have trouble swallowing pills without chewing them first, I take this one with a spoonful of applesauce.

·       Allopurinol – the kidney stone I had back in 2001 was a uric acid stone. This keeps my uric acid level down to prevent future stones of that type as well as preventing gout (which is also caused by a high level of uric acid). Just a maintenance issue at this point.

 

General – I’m definitely aware that I’m getting older and having a variety of aging issues. Not only do my grandchildren refer to me as “old,” but a number of people at church keep asking me how I’m doing. It’s nice to have others show their concern, but to know that I’m in the category of “older” and apparently looking that way is not something that I’m used to. With the number of physical issues I have listed above, will I live as long as those who came before me? It’s another eight years until Asher will be out of high school and I’d be almost 84 by then. Will I make it that long? I don’t know. Nearly half of my male cousins have already passed away. It’s concerning.

Death in the Family

At the beginning of August we received a phone call that Donna’s sister Cora (generally known as “Pixie”) had passed away. While we have had other deaths in the family, this was the first one of one of the siblings.

[Gravestone]

But that got me thinking – how many of our combined family members have passed away and what percentage does that represent.

 

Defining the population

The goal here was to assemble a list of all the family members in “our” generation. So, I started with myself, my wife, and all of our combined siblings (I’m one of five and my wife is one of seven). That part was easy. Then I added all our first cousins, i.e. the children of our parent’s siblings (ignoring whether such individuals were biological relatives or adopted). Then, I added in all the spouses/significant others of each of the siblings/cousins.

But, as in many families, there were a few “exceptions”. First, I included my Hill cousins (who are technically cousins of cousins) as we always treated them as first cousins during all our growing-up lives and since. Secondly, I did not include any cousins on my wife’s mother’s side. When my wife’s grandfather passed away, his mother obtained custody of all his children, so there was never any contact between my wife’s mother and her older siblings. Even as the family genealogist, I do not have any good records of what happened to all of them. Finally, there are a few other miscellaneous exceptions – such as my wife’s sister was married briefly when she was 18 to a local soldier but they divorced shortly thereafter and he moved away, so no one in the family has been in contact with him for 50 years.

At the end of the above process, I had accumulated a total of 74 names of individuals. These 74 are all age 70 (+/- 12) with the oldest still living being 82 and the youngest being nearly 60.

 

Population Analysis

Exactly half of these 74 individuals are male and half are female. But beyond this, the percentages tell very different stories.

Of the 74 individuals, 28 (38%) of them have passed away. But the ratio of M/F is quite different. 18 (49%) of the 37 men have passed away, but only 10 (27%) of the females have passed away. So even in this small sample, the women are outliving the men.

Our immediate families seem to be living longer that the others. While the cousins and their spouses represent 65% (48/74) in this population they account for 75% of the deaths (21/28). Similarly, the spouses represent 55% (41/74) of the population, but they account for 64% of the deaths (18/28).

 

My Outlook

So, what does this say about me? Already, nearly half of the men in my generation of this extended family have passed away. But of the 19 men still living, only 3 are older than I am and the oldest is only 2 years older (Donna’s brother Chuck is 78 and is currently in an assisted living home).

I also maintain the records for our church senior citizens. While there are 68 individuals older than myself among our church attendees, only 26 men are older than I am. And of the five funerals of men this year, four of them were for men younger than me.

In doing some research, there are different figures given for the average lifespan of people in the US based on their gender. The CDC gives figures of 73.2/79.1 (M/F). But other websites give figures of 74.8/80.2 and 75.3/80.5 (these latter ones are for white males/females where the corresponding figures for black males/females are 69.0/76.1).

I’m reminded of a comedian I saw a video of recently. He stated, “I’m 74 and the average lifespan of men is age 76. But for women the average lifespan in 81, so now seems to be the ideal time to do a gender transition in order to add 5 years to my life.”

While one can’t apply averages to individuals, they do give some idea on where one stands. Already in 2024 I’ve had two hospital stays as well as 18 doctor/dentist visits (with 6 more scheduled in the next 3 months). But while I may be having physical issues, mentally I’m doing quite well. I had my annual Alzheimer’s aging test earlier this week and the person running the tests said that she’s not used to having anyone who goes through the test battery as fast as I do. And while I spend a lot of my day in a recliner with my foot raised due to my amputation and neuropathy, I have a constant stream of grandsons coming through the room as I oversee their home schooling.

So, I may be aging, but when people ask how I’m doing, my response is always, “I’m doing great!” And that, to me, is the most important aspect!

 

Actors in the Family

I’ve known since my childhood about the Alcox/Alcott family who had been prominent in the early days of the town where our family lived. I’ve written about them in a prior blog post (https://ramblinrussells.blogspot.com/2019/03/genealogy-story-alcockalcockealcoxallco.html). And as part of this I knew about my 3^rd cousin, Louisa May Alcott (1832-1888), who is perhaps best known for the book she wrote, “Little Women”. She wrote this in 1868 and it was an immediate success.

However, I had not known that her book had been turned into a play. Here is that story…

 

The Concord Players

A few days ago someone posted in one of the Facebook groups which I follow (New England Family Genealogy and History). In this post she noted that she found among her family’s things a program for a play put on by The Concord Players which was celebrating the 100^th anniversary of the birth of Louisa May Alcott (1835-1888). (Here is a link to that posting - https://www.facebook.com/groups/HistoryGenNEFamilies/permalink/26372361562407315/).

[Picture of program]

 

The thing that caught my eye immediately is that two of the actors were Bronson Alcott Pratt and Louisa Alcott Kussin. That could not be a coincidence! Some quick checking revealed that Bronson and Louisa were siblings and that they were grandchildren of Louisa May Alcott’s sister Anna – thus making them my 5^th cousins, twice removed (5C2X – I’ll be using this notation in all the results below).

I decided that I needed to see if any others in the cast were also cousins of mine. It took a bit of research, especially for the women as I didn’t know whether they were going by their maiden names or their married names. However, I was able to take advantage of the fact that all of these individuals were living in or around Concord, MA in the 1930s – where the Concord Players were based. Here are my results:

·       Bronson Alcott Pratt (1889-1943), 5C2X

·       Grace W. [Brooks] Butler (1891-), 9C1X

·       Louisa Alcott [Pratt] Kussin (1900-1982), 5C2X

·       Caroline W[aterman] [Swift] Farnsworth (1905-1957) 8C2X

·       [Mary] Cornelia Lunt (1889-1965), 9C2X

·       Marian [Molly] Harlow (1913-1993), 8C2X

·       Janet [January] [Elliott] Wulsin (1893-1963), 6C4X

·       D[aniel] Ripley Gage (1885-1962), 8C2X

·       Raymond P[eacock] Baldwin (1894-1971), 9C1X

·       Hans W[illiam] Miller (1890-1960), since he was playing a German part, it’s only reasonable that his family were recent immigrants from that country. The only non-cousin in this list.

·       Russell T[rain] Smith (1905-1992), 8C3X

·       Mary [Dillingham] [Brooks] Buttrick (1887-1965), 9C4X

I also decided that I’d investigate the director and costumer who were listed on that program:

·       Marvin C. Taylor (1890-1973), 9C3X

·       Mrs. Allen French (1883-1964), Aletta Ayyrrigg Lillibridge, 2^nd wife of Allen French, 6C4X. Note that Allen French was the author of “Sir Marrok” which he wrote in 1905 and which I republished (and later added to) upon the birth of my grandson, Ethan Marrok Christman.

Thus, of the 14 people involved, 13 of them are my cousins! What a great finding! I never knew that there were so many actors in my family.

 

The Play

There was one other thing I needed to check out – the person who wrote the play version of Louisa May Alcott’s book. I found that story here (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Little_Women_(play). As you can see, Jessie Bonstelle, had been appealing to the Alcott family for the right to adapt the book into play format. She began this shortly after the turn of the century and after eight years was finally able to get permission from the family (Louisa had been dead about twenty years at that point. But Jessie did not feel capable of writing the play herself, so she enlisted the services of Marian de Forest.

So, are these two woman cousins of mine as well? Here is what I found:

·       Jessie Bonstelle (1871-1932), 7C3X

·       Marian de Forest (1864-1935), 5C4X

This play debuted in Buffalo, NY, in 1912, then toured the US before making its Broadway debut later that year where it went through 184 performances. There was no obvious New England connection in all this, but what were the chances that any of the actors were my cousins as well?

 

The Broadway Production

With a play that was first performed in Buffalo, NY, and later on Broadway, it turned out to be even harder to find the genealogical records of the actors. But, after many hours of research, here are the director, the original 12 actors, and the one replacement who filled a role on Broadway:

·       William A. Brady (1863-1950), family from Ireland

·       [Emma] Marie Pavey (1881-), English/German ancestry

·       Alice [Rose] Brady (1892-1939), daughter of director, Irish and French ancestry

·       Gladys Hulette [1896-1991), 9C2X

·       Edith [Margaret] Speare/Spears (1894-1970), 7C5X

·       [Nellie] Gertrude Berkeley (1864-1946), 6C4X

·       Eugene A. Eberle (1840-1917), 5C5X

·       Howard [Bolles] Estabrook (1884-1978), 7C3X

·       [Elwood] John Cromwell [Dager] (1886-1979), 8C3X

·       Carl Sauerman (1868-1924), born in Sweden, studied in Germany, which is appropriate for playing the part of a German

·       Carson Davenport (1860-1937), England and Ireland ancestry (it wasn’t until I found a picture of him in an old newspaper that I realized that he was much older than many the others and could adjust my searches.

·       Lynn [Burleson] Hammond (1879-1963), 8C2X

·       Lillian Dix (1864-1922), 9C3X

·       Beverly West (1898-1982), German/Irish ancestry

Thus, 8 of the 13 actors are my cousins – more than I anticipated.

 

This has required MANY hours of genealogical research over the past few days. I need a break!

Who is Like Me?

I began this blog 9.5 years ago. One of the things I posted in the first few months was titled “The ‘Like Me’ Syndrome”.

            https://ramblinrussells.blogspot.com/2015/03/the-like-me-syndrome.html

In this post I talked about how we tend to feel comfortable when we are with groups of people who are like us. I used as examples Racial/Ethnic Clumping and Female/Male dominated professions. I then noted some of the solutions to these issues and which don’t work and which might work. I also looked at some of my experiences of being with people who are NOT like me. I finished with the following paragraph.

Think about your own experiences.  When you are with others who are “like you” do you feel more comfortable than when you are with others who are “not like you?”  What is it about the group that makes you “like” each other?  What other aspects of the group could you focus on so that the “like me” could dominate the “not like me?”

 

Is This Still An Issue?

If anything, this is even more of an issue than it has been historically. We now live in an era of what is sometimes referred to as “identity politics.” This is politics based on particular identities such as ethnicity, race, nationality, religion, denomination, gender, sexual orientation, social background, caste, and social caste. Although it’s been around since the late 20^th century, we are now drawing very distinct lines around the various groups.

More recently, we have begun to put a lot of effort into DEI (Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion), but in doing so, we are requiring that people identify the racial/ethnic/sexual aspects that they have and thus we are enforcing the differences between people rather than looking for commonality. Then our political system tries to take advantage of these differences with such statements as “I am a woman, you are a woman, therefore you must vote for me.” (Or substitute other aspects into “I am ____” like I am an African-American, I come from a family of immigrants.)

The implicit meaning behind this is that it’s not who we are or what we do, but that we are defined by whatever aspect/identity is being discussed. Thus, things like the color of our skin are the most important things about us (“Black” lives matter!) so if we have just one drop of blood from a Black ancestor many generations ago, then we are supposed to act, to BE, Black. Universities are now having special graduation exercises just for those in a particular identity group.

In this hyper-identity world, we are now using these aspects of our life to divide us! And by dividing us into smaller groups it discourages people from working together. The “Like Me” syndrome that I noted several years ago is being used as a weapon. Instead of America being a “melting pot” where people of many different backgrounds can come together, we have been turned into a collection of identities and encouraged to NOT work together. It’s a sad state of affairs.

So, what can we as individuals do about it? Let me repeat what I wrote nine years ago:

What other aspects of the group could you focus on so that the “like me” could dominate the “not like me?”

 

So What About Me?

I thought it would be interesting to use myself as a case study and whether I actually practice what I preach. I’ve been using social media, i.e. Facebook, since shortly after I retired 17 years ago. I have now accumulated a list of “friends” numbering roughly 400. But being the organized person that I am, I also maintain a spreadsheet of all these friends which notes how I am connected to them. So, I’d like to use this spreadsheet as a surrogate for which aspect of “like me” each individual is primarily associated with.

Here are my categories:

·       Family: those with some sort of genealogical connection. This accounts for nearly 150 individuals. There are four subcategories in this. (1) Immediate family – siblings, first cousins, nieces/nephews, etc. (note that because those two generations below, i.e. grandchildren, do not use Facebook this is not a complete list of family); (2) Pierpont – those related on my mother’s side – because I am the historian of the Pierpont Family Association, I also have connections to the wider family tree including relatives in France, England, and Canada; (3) Russell – extended family on my father’s side – the subject of much of my genealogical research; (4) VanDeCar – extended family on my wife’s side.

·       Church: those individuals in the church we have attended for nearly 50 years as well as others in the denomination that we have established connections to. This accounts for about 130 individuals.

·       Wolcott: individuals from my hometown in Connecticut. About 65 individuals, roughly 2/3 are my high school classmates, the others are individuals who have an interest in Wolcott History which I often blog about.

·       Work: individuals who I have worked with in some capacity, either my job at Air Products where I spent over 30 years, or via one of the non-profits that I had a long-term connection to (school boards, international students). About 45 individuals.

·       Other: those who do not fit one of the above categories. Only a dozen individuals.

That’s actually a pretty short list of ways that define “like me”. Genealogy, church, geography, shared experiences. There is nothing here about race, color, gender, sexual orientation, or any of the other aspects of identity politics or DEI. But are these “not like me” aspects hidden in the details or otherwise being used? Let me look at some of the details below the surface in each of the above categories.

 

Family

This group is defined by genealogical connection and the origins of each of the families listed are northern European (French, English, etc.) But that does not mean that every individual has that same heritage as people are free to marry others from different heritages. So, besides the French/English/Canadian members of the extended Pierpont family, I am aware of several other instances of this which have created connections to (1) Native Americans, (2) Haiti, and (3) Japan. But these individuals are still “Family”.

And there are many other aspects of “not like me” that get passed over. I am aware of several instances of same-sex relationships, political orientations that span the spectrum of our current political situation in the US, etc. But these individuals are still family, so I don’t let our differences get in the way.

 

Church

The part of Pennsylvania where I live was settled by German immigrants in the early 1700s. But with English immigrants to the N/E/S there was a fair amount of English connection as well. And the church reflected that heritage. But as the demographics of the area are changing, so are the demographics of the church. Just a few examples: (1) our senior pastor is Black; (2) our weekly church bulletin is available in Spanish as well as English; (3) the church hosts an Arabic-speaking congregation on Sunday afternoon and we now have two Syrian young men serving on our worship team; (4) the couple who sits in front of us consists of a young man who met and married a woman from Dominica while on a missions trip and they have since adopted four African-American siblings; and (5) as part of the church’s mission focus we currently have church members serving in Mexico, Jamaica, Germany, and Czech Republic.

Because of my genealogy interests, one of the “fun” things I like to do is see if I can build a rudimentary family tree for people in the church and see if there is any genealogical connection to me. I have found such a connection for about 2/3 of the church members/attendees (usually back about 400 years). But this leads to some interesting personal connections that might not otherwise happen. For example, there are a couple of ladies who are quite different than me. Because of some poor life choices, they are now part of a very low-income group and have no connections to other relatives. They came to our church because of our outreach to the community, but they didn’t have any other connections to it. Then they were approached by me with the message that they were distant cousins. That personal connection made a real difference. Now they look me up each Sunday morning and greet me with “hello cuz”.

 

Wolcott

Because Wolcott was not incorporated until 1796 and the population only grew beyond 1000 people after the paving of Wolcott Rd in the 1930s, the demographics of the residents were very reflective of the “melting pot” of the New England in the late 1800s and early 1900s. At one time I had undertaken a genealogical study of my high school classmates. While this study only is of the 2/3 of my friends in this category, the others are of this same demographic mixture.

About 1/3 of my classmates are related to me genealogically. However, there are a wide range of  countries represented. Nearly all are from Europe with the predominant ones being England, Ireland, Italy, France (actually French-Canadian), and Polish – these were the source of much of the immigration into that part of New England in that time period. Of my 170 classmates, only two had ancestry from Africa, only one had ancestry from Asia (Philippines), and there was no Spanish (either Spain or from South America). Some had very complex mixtures such as one girl whose heritage was from Germany, Russia, Poland, Ireland, and England, another whose heritage was from French-Canadian, Sweden, Ireland, Scotland, and England, and another whose heritage was from Italy, French-Canadian, Germany, Scotland, Ireland, and Netherlands. But we all were having the same experience – growing up in a close-knit community and attending the same new high school. So not only did we all get along quite well, but we continue to be in close contact with one another. I know from their postings that there are a wide range of political views in this group, but that doesn’t matter.

 

Work

The shared experience here is working together. The only item of significance is that there are about a dozen international students (1/4 of the total of this group). I’ll have more to say about this below.

 

Other

This remaining small category includes some of my neighbors, my best man (the only individual from my college years among my friends), and some individuals who I work with on genealogical issues of WWII soldiers.

 

International Aspect

While I have always lived and worked in the United States, I have had more than the typical amount of international travel. While this has enriched my life and given me a perspective that many do not have, most of the international friends among my 400 Facebook friends did not come from this travel. I count as “international” not those who simply have a heritage from another part of the world. Rather I only give this designation to someone who was born in another country, or who lives/works/worked there for a significant length of time.

With this designation, over 10% of my Facebook friends are international (41 out of roughly 400). These 41 individuals represent 24 different countries and thus a wide range of different backgrounds. For example, I have friends who are Buddhists from Thailand/Hong Kong, a Catholic from Indonesia, Christian from Ghana, Christian from Pakistan, missionaries in Mexico, Jamaica, Germany, Zambia, Kenya, as well as individuals from Norway, Belgium, England, France, Venezuela and other places.

Having interactions with this wide variety of individuals, as well as seeing other things that they post about their life, keeps me from being narrowly focused and only having a US-centric view of the world.

 

Conclusion

This 400-member collection of friends have a wide range of backgrounds and interests. Some I see regularly at church each week. Some I haven’t seen for several decades (since high school). Some I have never actually met outside of social media. Some share political views with me, and others have views that are totally the opposite. Some are going through physical or personal problems and I pray for them regularly (and let them know that I do), others do the same for me as I deal with various physical issues as I age. With each I have at least one thing in common – be it genealogy, religion, working together, or being from the same town.

But in each area where we are different I use our relationship to learn about things from their perspective. I get to learn about the discrimination that my native American nieces feel. I share with my same-sex cousins and try to understand them instead of argue with them. I pray with my high school classmates who, like me, are aging, having physical issues, losing a spouse, etc. I pray for my Pakistani friend who is poor and suffers from persecution on a regular basis (and she prays for me too!). I share with those in our church who have had very different life experiences but who worship the same God that I do.

 

That’s the key in all this. Instead of only associating with those who are just like you, look for one aspect that you can agree upon – be it shared DNA, living in the same town, working together, or some other shared experience like going to the same church – and then use our differences to learn from each other instead of using them to divide us. My life is so much richer having learned from my friends.

Yesterday was my 76^th birthday. Between yesterday and today, I received greetings from about 25% of my 400 friends. I love them all. And I hope to continue the relationship I have with each of them for many more years to come.