Amputee Support

           Back when my amputation was complete and I was finally mobile again, I heard that the Lehigh Valley Hospital (LVHN) had an amputee support group that met every month. I went there for what I thought was one of their meetings, only to find that no one showed up. It turned out that LVHN and Jefferson Hospital had just announced that they were merging and one of the things they needed to do was synchronize their volunteer support processes. It would be several months before they again started meeting again – earlier this month.

It was a good meeting, and I was able to interact with several other amputees – the oldest being about my age and the youngest being only around 19. Some had arm amputations, some had legs amputated above the knee, others below the knee, and a few with other amputations such as multiple fingers, or, like me, a partial foot. The oldest amputation dated from 1977, and the newest from last year (like myself).

Besides monthly meetings, with some kind of speaker, one of the things that this group provides is signing up to be a hospital volunteer so they can visit those in the hospital who have had a recent amputation. I signed up for this and will be going through an interview process later this week. During the hospital’s merger, this was another activity that got set aside, so there was only one person there who is still qualified to do this.         

There are two principal aspects of dealing with an amputation – the physical adaptation and the related mental adaptation.

 

Physical Adaptation

Most amputations happen suddenly, through things like automobile accidents, or, like myself, who went into the hospital with an infection from a long-term diabetic foot ulcer and found myself 48 hours later in the first of three OR visits, terminating in the removal of half of my right foot. Unlike things like a broken limb where the individual may have a cast for 4-6 weeks, or a joint (like hip or knee replacement) which these days are just an overnight (for a hip replacement) or of a few days (for a knee), an operation involving an amputation is permanent. Recovery may lead to the use of a prosthesis, but even this requires a period of healing and adjustment before the individual is “normal” again.     

This period of healing/adjustment may have several stages. In my case it went from (1) being flat on my back and “NWB” non-weight-bearing, to (2) being able to get up with all the weight on my left leg, then swiveling to sit on a potty chair, to (3) swiveling into a wheel chair, to (4) using a knee scooter to go down the hall, to (5) using crutches for mobility, to (6) using a cane. I was in stage 4 when I was released from the rehab facility, in stage 5 when I was learning how to (cautiously) drive again, and I expect to stay in stage 6 indefinitely. It’s a long process!

While the stages may take an extended period and will differ depending on the type of amputation, the person who has just experienced the event that caused the amputation usually not prepared for it. This is where the amputation support volunteer can add some value. The doctor can relate the things which he/she has done and a therapist can help the individual with the exercises and activities needed to aid the recovery process, but this is only part of the process. Being able to talk to someone who “has gone through it” is helpful. I hope to be able to use my experiences to let the patient see “the light at the end of the tunnel”.

 

Mental Adjustment

The physical adjustment should not be ignored. But neither should the accompanying mental adjustment be ignored. Remember that the individual has lost a limb, even if just a finger. And, unlike something like a hip replacement, the limb loss is permanent. It will not grow back. Thus, the individual needs to adjust to not only all the series of changes during the initial hospital stay, but must be prepared for whatever changes there will be in the rest of their life. Being able to interact with a support person who has gone through what the patient is experiencing and who can still present a positive attitude can be very helpful. I was told just this morning by someone with whom I interact most Sunday mornings that they didn’t even know that I had a foot amputation (the reason why I was sitting by one of the primary entrances to church where I could interact with him and others).

Thus, I believe that I have the proper mental attitude that can help others going through an amputation. I certainly want to try!

 

I’ve submitted my hospital volunteer application. I still have to go through an interview, supply references, get a child abuse clearance, and a TB test. But I am looking forward to being able to interact with other new amputees and pass along my experiences and positive attitude. If all goes well, I’ll post again on this topic in the future.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  

Time Flies

         It was February 1955. Our little street, which had been a dead-end, was being pushed through. What had been a narrow path through a swampy area just wide enough for one person to walk would soon be a paved road that connected to the street beyond. My world was about to expand.

[Alan in 1^st grade]

 

I was the oldest in our family of what had just expanded from two children to three. I was six-and-a-half and in first grade. My sister had just turned five at the end of the previous year. She was a cute and precocious girl with blond hair. My brother was only two months old. Our family had been living in this house in Wolcott, CT since my father purchased it nearly nine years ago. He was 34-years-old and had been working at Scovill Manufacturing as a draftsman since graduating from high school (except for the two years he spent in the U.S. Navy during WWII). My mother was a beautiful 30-year-old and was focused on raising we children.

My grandparents (most of them) were in their mid-to-late 50’s. The primary exception was my grandmother’s second husband who was 30 years older than she was. He had been born just a few months after the end of the Civil War, making him almost 90. I thought about him growing up at a time before Edison invented the carbon filament light bulb. Even when my other grandparents were born in the 1890s, light bulbs were not common outside of major cities. Automobiles came along toward the end of the 1800s, but even by 1910 there were only 5 vehicles per 1000 people in the US. Commercial aviation was not available until the mid-1930s when my father was a teenager. So the lives that my grandparents and parents lived were totally different than my own has been.

While the road from our house to the city where my father worked had been paved about twenty-years earlier, he saw few cars on the road during the seven miles he drove to work. Telephone service was provided by the cities to the north and south of us, so it was a long-distance phone call to others even in the same town. We had recently gotten a television (black-and-white of course). It only got three stations, and they came from different directions so my father had put a motorized antenna turner so we could turn the antenna on the chimney to get the best reception possible. Shows were all live and after the late-night news there was only a test pattern being broadcast until the following morning.

As noted above, I had recently started school. Our little school serviced the entire northern section of town, but still only had one class per grade. Some of my classmates came from English backgrounds, as did I, and our ancestors had been here in the US for over 300 years. Others came from more recent immigrant families and had ancestors from places like French Canada, Italy, Poland, Ireland, Denmark, Germany, or Austria. We were a pretty motley crew, but our differing backgrounds really didn’t matter. Having the commonality of being in the same class was more important than our ancestries.

 

Time Moved On

I stayed in that small town until I graduated from high school in 1966. Then I spent five years in Michigan for undergraduate and graduate school. Getting married, my wife and I spent four years back in Connecticut, living in Prospect. Then in 1975 I got a job offer in Eastern PA. We moved here in June of 1975 and have now been here for approaching fifty years.

My biological grandparents passed at ages 68, 71, 75, and 81, so I have lived longer than three of them already and am quickly approaching the age of the last one. My step-grandfather is the exception as he lived until the ripe-old age of 93. My parents were married for nearly 60 years and both passed away at that house in Wolcott.

Now, my children are in their mid-40s and only 20 years away from retirement. My oldest grandson is in college and the youngest is several years older than I was back in 1955.

Interestingly, despite having moved away so long ago, I still remain friends with many of my classmates from that small school. We communicate frequently, despite being scattered around the country – it’s a rare day that I don’t see a message from one of them.

The technological changes that my grandparents and my parents experienced may have seemed extraordinary to them all those years ago. But in my lifetime, I’ve experienced changes just as revolutionary. Just think what things like computers and instant communication have brought to our world. Children the age that I was 70 years ago often have access to smartphones of their own on a regular basis!

 

As my time here on this earth grows shorter and shorter, I can’t imagine what changes my grandchildren will see. The youngest ones may live until the next century (just 75 years away!). And they will experience things that I can’t even imagine over the intervening years. I won’t be around for those changes. But I’m glad that I’ve gotten to experience all that I have!

When one is younger, time moves much more slowly – after all, between the ages of 10 and 11 one gets to experience 10% of their life. But that same year only represents 1.3% of my life at this age, so the years seem to roll by so much more quickly.

 

Christmas 2024

Family

As has been our family custom for many years, we had our full family together at Pinebrook in the Poconos in the summer. We had thought that 2023 would be the last year to have all 7 grandchildren, but Aryon got a summer job working there so we were blessed to have them all together this past summer as well. Below is a picture of all of them.

For a few months all of them were 1x years old – Asher turned 10 in July and Aryon did not turn 20 until October. Aryon is now in his second year of college, Tiernan is a senior in high school (he once again took a missions trip to Japan to help take care of a group of younger students while their parents, who are missionaries, had a week of meetings), and Ilyanna is in 9^th grade. In PA, the four boys are in grades 9, 7, 7, and 5 this year. We’ve enrolled Ethan in a dual-enrollment program at Liberty University Online Academy where he will graduate in 2028 with a high school diploma as well as a full associates’ degree. We’re planning on doing the same with all the younger boys as well.

Ethan is led in his coursework by Kim, and I handle the three younger boys – with the exception of Isaiah and Caleb taking Spanish (led by Kim as she knows that language and I do not) and Asher’s literature class where Donna has a chance to get involved. All of them are straight A students. It keeps me busy every day as I sit in my recliner and there is a constant stream of boys coming through my room.

 

Medical

While I’ve been dealing with various medical issues over the years, 2024 was a memorable one. I’ve had a diabetic ulcer on the bottom of my right foot for several years. Over the Christmas holidays last year, I developed a case of COVID. It was not a bad case, but the extra level of infection got into my foot. I went into the hospital on January 2^nd and didn’t come home for an entire month. And when I did come home it was after a partial foot amputation. The surgeon did an excellent job of closing the wound back up, but having only a partial foot has been a definite challenge (see picture below).

          I can get around pretty well, but only with the use of a cane. People see me as pretty normal as I have a “toe-filler” prosthesis and wear a regular shoe. But navigating stairs is difficult and I am constantly in danger of falling. I have other medical issues, but this one overshadows all of them. At home I spend most of my time in a recliner as I want to avoid any further injury to that foot. Getting old is not for the faint of heart.

          I’ve had to give up all outdoor activities. It’s good to have several growing grandsons around to pick up tasks like grass mowing, taking the trash cans up to the corner each week, and even smaller things like walking up to get the mail each day.

          On the plus side, I can now relate easily to other older member of the church who have canes or who have issues like Alzheimer’s, Parkinsons, or any of the other infirmities that come with getting older.

 

Genealogy

          While a large portion of my day is consumed by overseeing the schooling of our grandsons, I’m still quite involved in genealogy – mostly for others. As an example, just this week I was able to introduce two men in our church to each other as being third cousins (i.e. sharing a great-great-grandfather) that they had not been aware of.

          A lot of my investigation is for people in our church (where I am related to about 2/3 of them) or to some of our new neighbors, I’m also enjoying my relationships with others in the Pierpont/Russell lines with whom I have established relationships in the past. I am now the official historian of the Pierpont Family Association due to the passing of Bob Kraft, but with my driving being restricted due to my foot, I may not be able to go to our annual meetings. While many of these relatives are not like me and they have different views on life (including their political persuasion during the past election season), I enjoy the challenge of not being in a political “echo chamber” and having my views be challenged.

 

Putting Christ in Christmas

          This time of year is one where I focus on sharing my Christian values with those around me. For those reading this who share those values, may the joy of Christ encourage you. Any of those who may not share those values, know that we love you anyway. Christ is the basis for our family’s outlook and we will always encourage others to see His love through us.

 

Merry Christmas!

Alan & Donna

 

 

Term Party

I spent my college career at Michigan State – 5 years (3 undergrad and 2 years of grad school). I was in an off-campus housing unit the entire time. Like other such housing units (fraternities and sororities), we had a number of social activities. One of the major ones was our annual term party held in early June. We held this at a camp in the small town of Wolverine that was owned by a former member of the housing unit. Renting the camp would typically have been way in excess of what we could have afforded, so we had a unique way of paying for it. In the early part of the quarter (MSU had not yet made the conversion to semesters), several of us made the trek north (about 200 miles – a little less than a 3 hour drive) and spent a weekend opening up the camp for the summer season – cleaning the rooms, sweeping all the floors, making all the beds, clearing all the walkways of winter debris, etc. This would have taken the owner and his wife several weeks or he would have had to pay someone, so it was a good trade of our hours of work in return for a weekend rental about two weeks later.

On term party weekend, we carpooled north to Wolverine. Carpooling was necessary because not many in college owned or had access to cars. After the evening meal, we could gather around the campfire or meet in small groups in the main open room. On Saturday many of us went canoeing on the nearby Sturgeon River or hiked on trails around the campground.

Saturday supper was an award ceremony with a number of interesting awards. In 1970, the first time I went with a date – the girl who I had recently begun dating and to whom I would get engaged that fall and married the following summer – I got the MO cup. The MO was marked on the glass cup as standing for “Most Outstanding” and was passed on from the person who had won the award the prior year. But privately, we guys know that it stood for “Make Out” and was given in recognition of that dubious award.

In the evening, the camp owner brought his hay wagon – pulled by horses and loaded with bales of hay for sitting on. The hill behind the camp – with the darkness of being away from the “civilization” that we were used to in East Lansing – offered a nice view of the stars and was a great view for couples.

On Sunday many of made the trek to the nearby town of Petoskey (about 25-30 miles away) and attended church there. After lunch we regathered in our carpools and made the journey back to East Lansing – giving us enough time for any class assignments which were due the following day.

Our ride back was a pretty interesting one. There were six in the car – 3 guys and 3 girls – as this was a time when cars still came with bench seats. To pass the time we told a “story” which could have as many as 26 lines. The first person said one line which was “I went to the store and I saw a ____” where the blank was an adjective-noun pair each starting with the letter “A”. Everyone else listened. Then the next person repeated that line and added “and _____” where the blank was an adjective-noun pair each starting with the letter “B”. This continued around the six of us with the “story” growing with each repetition. So your mind was consumed with having to remember an increasing number of word pairs as well as having to compose the next alphabetized pair when it was your turn. And with the silly pairs that were being said, the amount of laughter was also growing.

It’s now over 54 years since that event, and I can still remember all 26 of the eventual word pairs. In fact, I can also repeat them in reverse alphabetical order. For those who care, here they are (with a few editorial comments):

·       Adorable aardvark

·       Brown bear

·       Kooky cat – not a “C”, but sounds like it

·       Delinquent dog

·       Enormous elephant

·       Fastidious fish

·       Gouted goat

·       Huge heffalump – from Winnie the Pooh

·       Inquisitive ibex

·       Jumbo jet – the first non-animal, but we were pretty forgiving given the amount of laughter in the car

·       Klean kitchen – not a “K” here, but this will balance out the “C” above

·       Lamentable llama – starting to make pairs with long words to make them harder to remember

·       Morose moose

·       Nefarious nodule

·       Opulent owl

·       Petoskey’s pavement – we had been here earlier that day

·       Queer quirk

·       Redundant racoon

·       Sterile stegosaurus

·       Tintinnabulating tutor

·       Unforgettable umbrella – sounds like a good idea

·       Voluptuous vacuum cleaner

·       Wonderful Wolverine – another town we had been in

·       Exuberant xylophone – hard to come up with “X” words

·       Yellow yak

·       Xenophobic zebra – ah, here’s the missing “X”

 

Ah yes, such wonderful memories of those earlier years – but of course the best part was my date for the weekend – the girl who I’m still married to!

 

Middle School Drama

The Students

Judy was one of the tallest students in her 7^th grade class. While it’s not unusual for girls to get their growth earlier than boys at that age, Judy had gotten hers earlier than most. The other students in her class would tend to use adjectives such as tall, pretty, or even large words such as statuesque to describe her. But her close friends, who knew her well, would use such descriptors as kind, friendly, or loving – words which focused on her personality instead of her physical attributes.  She had only been in this school since last spring, but she already had several close friends.

Paul was one of the few students who was taller than Judy. But his was not a result of early growth – rather he was taller because he was older than all the others in the class. He had been held back twice already because he was a poor student. But he used his size as a way of bullying other students. His fellow classmates were generally afraid of him.

At the other end of the height spectrum was Thomas. If you were acquainted with his family, you would conclude that he was likely to be taller than most eventually, but he was a late starter and for now was the smallest in his class. However, what he lacked in height he made up for in his intelligence and he was generally well liked.

 

The Confrontation

It was the first day of school after the Christmas break, so perhaps Paul was tired of visiting relatives for the past two weeks and being the “little kid” compared to all his relatives. But whatever the reason, he was trying to reestablish his position. When he saw Judy at her locker at lunchtime, he came up behind her and put his arm on the adjoining locker – effectively blocking her in with the open locker door on one side and his arm on the other. Speaking loud enough for the other students in the area to hear as well, he said to Judy, “Hi there, beautiful, how’d you like to be my girl this year?”

Judy had no desire for such a relationship, but she didn’t want to give a totally negative reply, so she just said simply, “Please leave me alone.” Refusing to be rebuffed, Paul reiterated, “Aw, come on, we’d make such a great tall couple.” Judy responded again by telling Paul, “No thank you.”

Thomas had his locker right across the hall. Although he didn’t want to get involved, he could sense Judy’s discomfort. So he crossed the hall, and, coming up behind Paul, said, “You heard the lady, Paul, please leave her alone.” Paul turned his head and, having to look down at Thomas who was a good foot shorter than he was, said, “Get lost, shrimp!”

Not one to be put off so easily, Thomas repeated, “Please leave her alone.” Paul’s response was to turn toward Thomas and give him a push, saying, “Pick on someone your own size!” He then turned back toward Judy.

Once recovered from that push, Thomas again crossed the hall and tapped Paul on the back. When Paul turned to face him again, Timothy swung a fist toward Paul. Being so much shorter, his punch connected with Paul below the belt. Paul immediately collapsed, holding his abdomen, and groaning. Freed from being pinned against the locker, Judy stepped over the groaning Paul. She briefly turned and said to him, “Yes, Paul, pick on someone your own size!”

 

The Aftermath

There were a number of whispered conversations all that afternoon. Judy’s friends all wanted to talk to her and get her perspective on what had happened. Paul’s former followers, who were never really friends, kept saying in his direction, “Pick on someone your own size, Paul.” Thomas heard a continual whisper of “Nice job, Thomas!”

The teachers, none of whom had happened to witness the actual event after lunchtime, were silently happy that Paul had been put in his place as school regulations prevented them from any physical encounter with a student. But their response of closer scrutiny of Paul for the rest of the school year ensured that he was no longer able to collect a gathering of followers and be the bully that he had previously been.

At the end of the school day, Thomas was a little surprised when Judy came up to him at his locker and said bluntly to him, “I’d like to have you as a protector, would you be willing to walk me home?” And so, to the sigh of many other girls in the hall at the time, Thomas did so – the first of many such walks together.

Medical Concerns

For each of the areas below I will indicate the current status. If I take any medications for any of these, they will be shown as bullet points under that item.

 

Brain – no concerns. ABC (Aging Brain Cohort) testing continues to indicate no brain issues – yay! I’m also in a few other periodic testing groups which collect results from large groups to look for causes, etc. (MindCrowd, APT-Webstudy (Alzheimer’s Prevention Trials), PPMI (Parkinsons’s Progression Marker Initiative)). Apart from using my knowledge in this area to help minister to others at church, etc. who are having mental issues (Jerry Engle, Ron Shoemaker, etc.) I’m going to remove this from my list of concerns and periodic reporting.

 

Head – Still a small dent where a cyst was removed this summer. Not a significant issue, but I wish it would go away. I have a habit of picking at it, so I’ve temporarily gone back to having a band-aid on it.

·       Aquaphor healing ointment

·       Sensitive skin extra large band-aids. Regular band-aids irritate my skin, and smaller ones come loose too easily. This kind has areas to stick on all four sides and don’t come loose.

 

Heart – Since the heart attack I had back in January 2005 was such a major one (chance of survival about 7%), I continue to see my cardiologist every six months for close monitoring. I have had no issues with it in the ensuing nearly 20 years, but keeping close tabs on it is still important.

·       Baby aspirin (daily) – recommended for heart attack patients.

·       Carvedilol (twice daily) – a beta blocker. Keeps blood pressure from getting too high. Recently moved from metoprolol tartrate to carvedilol at the recommendation of my liver doctor as this will help in the liver area as well (see below). Monitored my blood pressure for the three days it took to stabilize during the transition, but I seem to be doing well with the minimum dosage.

 

Foot – Major concentration on staying off my foot as much as possible. Walking around the house in just socks seems to work okay, but I am sensitive to coming close to falling quite often. Definitely no walking outside or in non-home venues without cane support. It’s a bit frustrating to not be able to help with outside chores, but our grandsons are getting old enough that they are starting to pick up the slack. However, I’m aware of the extra strain this puts on my wife since I am unable to assist her as I used to. But since any further problems with my foot would have major implications on being able to walk or to drive and not sure how I’d deal with loss of mobility that “fear” drives my staying off my foot. But I’m aware that this impacts my being able to contribute to family functioning and the stress in the home.

·       Aquaphor healing ointment – in order to keep the line where the skin flap from the bottom of my foot was sewn to the top of my foot moist, I use this ointment every few days. If it were to get dry, then it would be subject to possible other issues in the future which is something that I DO NOT want to happen.

 

Diabetes – Change in medication at the beginning of the year (by hospital doctors during my amputation) and removal of Farxiga and Trulicity was not adequately compensated for by increase in Lantus. Also did not notice that my prescription for Metformin changed from 1000 unit pills to 500 unit pills, so inadvertently decreased my daily usage by half until I noticed the change in hardness of the new pills.  Definitely need to have input from an endocrinologist to determine path forward. Some possibility that I may end up having to take insulin with each meal – not something I’m looking forward to, but failure to get my blood sugars down could have other, more serious consequences. Liver specialist (see next item) has recommended taking Ozempic. This will impact several areas: (1) reduction of weight [goal is about 25 pounds]; assistance in diabetes; help with liver issues (next item).

·       Metformin – 1000 units twice daily

·       Lantus – currently taking 75 units/day each evening

·       Ozempic – TBD

 

Colon – I had three(!) colonoscopies last year. The first was a normal periodic one where they found several (9) polyps. The second one was a follow-up which found one more in the same area. Then the third was with a specialist checking to make sure that there was no inherent difficulty in that part of the colon. I have another colonoscopy scheduled this year since the number of polyps has me on an annual checkup instead of the more typical 5-year schedule. Hoping that this one will be uneventful.

 

Abdominal Issues – Latest report from MRI which confirmed issues such as enlarged spleen (splenomegaly), mild cirrhosis of liver, and portal hypertension is concerning. After consultation with a liver specialist and getting an ultrasound of my abdomen, he is recommending Ozempic which will address the mild cirrhosis as well as impact my diabetes. I’ll be discussing this with my primary care physician next month. Then I’ll be getting bloodwork and ultrasound every six months to ensure that things don’t get any worse. The primary concern here is with the cirrhosis of the liver with the other organs being “downstream” issues. The prescription of Ozempic (or possible Rybelsus instead) will not only affect my insulin levels, but is also expected to result in about a 10% weight loss as it slows the digestive process. This slowing will make it easier for my liver to deal with things and prevent further deterioration.

·       Ozempic - TBD

 

Blood – There are a number of factors here:

(1) Blood analysis – The amount of iron in my blood, as measured by things like red blood cells and hemoglobin, has always been on the low side. I started giving blood over a decade ago and went every two months. But the level of iron was always marginal and I would occasionally fail to meet the minimum and be rejected. Earlier this year, with all the other medical issues I was facing, I failed yet again and made the decision to stop giving.

(2) Clotting factor – My platelet count has also always been on the low end (60-110 when they prefer 140+). While it is not so low that I would be ineligible for various operations due to risk of bleeding, it is something that the doctor has been keeping an eye on.

(3) Cholesterol – following my heart attack back in 2005, they prescribed a statin to prevent my cholesterol from getting too high. That has worked very well. However, that med does not impact my triglycerides. I’m taking a fairly high dose of Omega-3 (fish oil) to try and lower it, but have only managed to get it from “off the charts” to “too high”.

·       Simvastatin – keeps cholesterol under control. My levels have been excellent since I started taking this several years ago.

·       Omega-3 – primary out-of-range item with my lipid levels is my triglycerides. While ideal would be to have them less than 150, this keeps them less than 400. That’s not ideal, but that’s the best I seem to be able to do.

 

Miscellaneous –

·       Pantoprazol – one small tablet a day. Because of the number of oral meds I’ve been taking, an endoscopy revealed some irritation of the lining of the stomach and duodenum. So the solution to too many pills is (of course) another pill. Since I have trouble swallowing pills without chewing them first, I take this one with a spoonful of applesauce.

·       Allopurinol – the kidney stone I had back in 2001 was a uric acid stone. This keeps my uric acid level down to prevent future stones of that type as well as preventing gout (which is also caused by a high level of uric acid). Just a maintenance issue at this point.

 

General – I’m definitely aware that I’m getting older and having a variety of aging issues. Not only do my grandchildren refer to me as “old,” but a number of people at church keep asking me how I’m doing. It’s nice to have others show their concern, but to know that I’m in the category of “older” and apparently looking that way is not something that I’m used to. With the number of physical issues I have listed above, will I live as long as those who came before me? It’s another eight years until Asher will be out of high school and I’d be almost 84 by then. Will I make it that long? I don’t know. Nearly half of my male cousins have already passed away. It’s concerning.

Death in the Family

At the beginning of August we received a phone call that Donna’s sister Cora (generally known as “Pixie”) had passed away. While we have had other deaths in the family, this was the first one of one of the siblings.

[Gravestone]

But that got me thinking – how many of our combined family members have passed away and what percentage does that represent.

 

Defining the population

The goal here was to assemble a list of all the family members in “our” generation. So, I started with myself, my wife, and all of our combined siblings (I’m one of five and my wife is one of seven). That part was easy. Then I added all our first cousins, i.e. the children of our parent’s siblings (ignoring whether such individuals were biological relatives or adopted). Then, I added in all the spouses/significant others of each of the siblings/cousins.

But, as in many families, there were a few “exceptions”. First, I included my Hill cousins (who are technically cousins of cousins) as we always treated them as first cousins during all our growing-up lives and since. Secondly, I did not include any cousins on my wife’s mother’s side. When my wife’s grandfather passed away, his mother obtained custody of all his children, so there was never any contact between my wife’s mother and her older siblings. Even as the family genealogist, I do not have any good records of what happened to all of them. Finally, there are a few other miscellaneous exceptions – such as my wife’s sister was married briefly when she was 18 to a local soldier but they divorced shortly thereafter and he moved away, so no one in the family has been in contact with him for 50 years.

At the end of the above process, I had accumulated a total of 74 names of individuals. These 74 are all age 70 (+/- 12) with the oldest still living being 82 and the youngest being nearly 60.

 

Population Analysis

Exactly half of these 74 individuals are male and half are female. But beyond this, the percentages tell very different stories.

Of the 74 individuals, 28 (38%) of them have passed away. But the ratio of M/F is quite different. 18 (49%) of the 37 men have passed away, but only 10 (27%) of the females have passed away. So even in this small sample, the women are outliving the men.

Our immediate families seem to be living longer that the others. While the cousins and their spouses represent 65% (48/74) in this population they account for 75% of the deaths (21/28). Similarly, the spouses represent 55% (41/74) of the population, but they account for 64% of the deaths (18/28).

 

My Outlook

So, what does this say about me? Already, nearly half of the men in my generation of this extended family have passed away. But of the 19 men still living, only 3 are older than I am and the oldest is only 2 years older (Donna’s brother Chuck is 78 and is currently in an assisted living home).

I also maintain the records for our church senior citizens. While there are 68 individuals older than myself among our church attendees, only 26 men are older than I am. And of the five funerals of men this year, four of them were for men younger than me.

In doing some research, there are different figures given for the average lifespan of people in the US based on their gender. The CDC gives figures of 73.2/79.1 (M/F). But other websites give figures of 74.8/80.2 and 75.3/80.5 (these latter ones are for white males/females where the corresponding figures for black males/females are 69.0/76.1).

I’m reminded of a comedian I saw a video of recently. He stated, “I’m 74 and the average lifespan of men is age 76. But for women the average lifespan in 81, so now seems to be the ideal time to do a gender transition in order to add 5 years to my life.”

While one can’t apply averages to individuals, they do give some idea on where one stands. Already in 2024 I’ve had two hospital stays as well as 18 doctor/dentist visits (with 6 more scheduled in the next 3 months). But while I may be having physical issues, mentally I’m doing quite well. I had my annual Alzheimer’s aging test earlier this week and the person running the tests said that she’s not used to having anyone who goes through the test battery as fast as I do. And while I spend a lot of my day in a recliner with my foot raised due to my amputation and neuropathy, I have a constant stream of grandsons coming through the room as I oversee their home schooling.

So, I may be aging, but when people ask how I’m doing, my response is always, “I’m doing great!” And that, to me, is the most important aspect!