Future Planning 5 – Funerals, etc.

The last area that I’d like to discuss is the one that people like to discuss the least, i.e. what to do with your body after you have passed away. There are no documents like wills to help with this, but there are a number of important decisions that must be made. And these decisions must often be made in a very short time frame – and in a time when emotions are fragile. So, if you care about your loved ones and want to help make their job easier, there are a number of things that you can do.

First, there are a couple of basic decisions where you can indicate your preference. Do you want to be buried or cremated, or do you want to have your body donated to science instead? And with all three of these options, do you want to participate in an organ donor program? There are a variety of ways that you can indicate your desires. You can insert wording in your living will (in Pennsylvania having an “anatomical gift” is one of the do/do not questions). You can register as an organ donor when you renew your driver’s license. You can register with a body donation registry. If you have opted for burial, then you can pre-purchase a burial plot. In any case, you should let your loved ones know what your preferences are and what steps you have already taken.

Also, if you desire, you can write your own obituary in advance or at least put some of the pertinent facts (date/place of birth, names of parents and other relatives, etc.) in a place where your loved ones know where they are. Again, the goal is to make it easier for those who are making the funeral arrangements after your passing.

As an example, my wife and I purchased a burial plot, including perpetual care, several decades ago. The package also included the grave site marker (flush with the ground as it is a park-like setting) and the casket. So there will be no end-of-life expenses to deal with for either of us. I have also written the skeleton of my obituary with the pertinent facts and a series of fill-in-the-blanks for date of death, etc. It is on a one-page document that also tells where to find things like my life insurance policies, where all my financial documents are, etc.

Again using the example of my mother-in-law, she had let us know that she wanted to donate her body, but the final decision in the state where she lived was up to the university medical center who had restrictions on what they would accept – so they needed to be contacted upon her death to see if they would accept her body. Since we knew that, I was able to call their donation hotline as soon as I received word that she had passed away and make the arrangements so that when the funeral home director arrived to pick up her body they already knew that they were only making arrangements for transport to the medical center and that they should not take her body back to the funeral home and begin the process of embalming which would preclude some of the types of research that the medical center can do.

Don’t leave it up to other family members to have to make these decisions when they have so much to deal with emotionally. Planning in advance can relieve them of much of the burden!