Crossing the Cultural Divide

There have been many stories in the press the last several days about Joe Biden and his treatment of women. I find it rather interesting how we are so willing to apply the current cultural standards in the US to everyone else - regardless of the culture that they come from or the time period in question. Let me give a few examples of the former.

1 - I volunteered for many years for AFS and we sent students abroad for a year/summer program. I usually ran the sending orientation for these students and their families. One of the topics that we discussed was "personal space". I would ask one student to come to the front of the group with me so that we could have a discussion. I would not give them any further instructions. Invariably, they would stand at a distance from me that is one that is defined by the personal space distance in US culture. This is so that the other person is just beyond fingertip length away. I would face them to have our pretend conversation, then reach out with my arms and EVERYTIME they would be standing just far enough away that I could not touch them. I would then turn to the rest of the group as I discussed this. I would then say that there are many other cultures where the definition of personal space is much different and as I said this I would step in so that there were only a few inches between us as an illustration. The other person would almost always react visibly and lean away from me as I said that they needed to overcome their resistance to being culturally correct in the new country that they were going to. I would also talk directly to them, looking them straight in the eyes and admonishing them if they would not return my gaze, telling them that unlike the US where the general rule is that the listener looks directly at the speaker so that they can see the person's facial expression and body language (which are equally important in communication), but that the speaker does NOT look at their listener, but tends to look off to the side or somewhere else. But in many other cultures it is considered impolite to not look directly at the person you are speaking to.

2 - I have also had several opportunities to visit countries/cultures where the expected form of greeting is a "kiss on the cheek" (usually just touching cheeks and "kissing the air"). Some cultures use a single kiss, some two (first to one side, then to the other), and some even three. I remember one occasion on my first visit to a company subsidiary in Brazil. It was just before Christmas and I was invited to the office Christmas party at a nearby restaurant. I was standing near the bar in the front talking to the executive secretary of the company (who spoke excellent English), while all around me everyone else was speaking Portuguese. A lady from the office, whom I did not know, entered and was making her way down the line of individuals standing there and got to me. I followed the local practice and kissed her on the cheek, then she continued making her way into the restaurant. I turned back to the executive secretary who with a big smile said to me, "you know our customs!" She was suddenly much more friendly to me in our conversation because I had shown that I was willing to "cross the cultural divide" and accept their way of doing things instead of the "American" way of shaking hands.

While I am not defending Biden's touchy/feely interactions (I am not aware of any culture where placing your hands on someone else's wife and nuzzling her hair is appropriate), we need to be careful not to confuse what may be improper with what may simply be trying to impose today's (post-MeToo) culture on events in the past. 

Even Jesus can be seen in this cultural difference in Luke 7:45 where he chides Simon by saying, "You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet." He was expecting a kiss of greeting. Paul also says in Romans 16:16, "Greet one another with a holy kiss." 

Are you willing to adapt to the different culture of someone else? Or do you insist that the current "American way" is the only way and judge everyone by that standard?